Every few months or so, I commit to making regular entries to this blog among other things and yet here I am again, procrastinating. What the heck is wrong with me? When I decide to put my mind to something, I keep going with my head down until it is complete. That is not the issue here. Finding the motivation to get started on something is my problem.
For instance, I owe Revenue Canada due to working part time and collecting EI after a lengthy illness. However, EI does not take enough tax off and here I sit with the huge debt, and no idea how I will ever pay it. I do need to call them, but I haven 't yet, simply because I have no clue as to what I could offer them. If WSIB (Workplace Safety and Insurance Board) would pay the $15,000.00 they presently owe me, I could. Gee, I wonder if Revenue Canada could exert some influence on WSIB. Nah, forget that one. I don't think anyone could except the Lord himself. WSIB is operated by lucifer in the flesh, intent on destroying lives like mine.
Recently, as in the last several months, I have been having these odd dreams. Not the passionate, gorgeous man dreams that would be fun. I would rather be dreaming about Jonathan Rhys Meyers-(see photo, OH BABY). They are dreams about my health and employment...In my dreams almost every night; I am healthy, strong and back at work. Then I wake up disappointed when I realize that I will never work as a nurse again due to a workplace injury. It reminds me of when I read Christopher Reeve's book about how he would dream that he was able-bodied after his paralysis. Why do people dream things that can not be? When I wake up I feel even more upset that I am basically stuck in this body that responds as a 90 year olds would. Actually, I know some 90 year olds that are doing better than I.
My procrastinating has gotten the best of me lately as I was at the point where I made up my mind that I would attempt writing as my new career. But, I have done nothing to foster any forward motion. The days, weeks and months just keep flying by without accomplishment. How to pull myself out of this rut has become a burning question. I know disabled people have fulfilled lives. I know it is possible, right? So, where to start...I need to make a living at something that is legal. Sure wish someone had the magic bullet, or simply just a bullet.
Well, the queen of procrastination will at least try to continue updating her blog more regularly. See you in a few months, er ah, I mean a few days.
J
P.S. I know, I know, this post was about my issues with procrastination and yet there is a picture of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. You can't blame me for that, he is unbelievably easy on the eyes don't you think? Besides, now I have an excuse to look at him whenever I work on my blog. (I really am happily married, but a girl can swoon, er, ah I mean can look can't she?)
