Sunday, May 29, 2011


I was just reading a few old posts and could not help but see the HUGE contrast in where I was both physically and mentally at that time compared to now. If you read my most recent entry: "The Good the Bad and the Ugly", part 1 and compare it to the entry dated September 16/09 entitled "Know When to Fold Em," you will see what a miracle truly looks like. Clearly I was in a bad place at that time.

I will begin on part 2 this week of "The Good the Bad and the Ugly" and this contrast is worth mentioning only so that it will be clear that after struggling for so long to improve and return to work, I was finally successful...The very fact that I have come so far only to be discarded by my employer is even more heartbreaking. In part 2 I will go into more detail of what has occurred regarding the Human Rights case but even before that I welcome prayers that the case will go in my favor.

See you soon for Part 2.

Take care and stay well.

Friday, May 27, 2011

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Part 1 of the Lengthy "Back Story"

Once again I must apologize for my absence. This time however, I have a reason...I have been jumping through the many WSIB (Workplace Safety and Insurance Board) hoops. To begin, anyone that knows me is well aware of the nightmare I have dealt with regarding chronic pain. In the past, if anyone were to tell me that I would actually be successful in controlling my pain and again have my 'life' back I would have believed them insane. Though, that is exactly what happened.

Based upon the recommendations from a pain specialist, my lovely physician decided to try me on the Fentanyl patch.* (A very dangerous narcotic, but exceptionally effective when used correctly and safely.) It turned out to be an absolute miracle for me. Normally my pain level on a scale of 1-10 was at least 7 at rest and rose well above 10 with any physical activity. I had become a completely non-functioning chronic pain poster child. I had always been an upbeat happy individual and never dreamed that I would become depressed and suicidal. But, I did. Chronic pain can do that to even the most jovial person. It was a combination of the pain and my inability to function. I truly felt like a useless piece of garbage. As a nurse for many years I was always in the caregiver role, not the care receiving and had my identity all wrapped up in being a nurse. What was I now? Thank the Lord that I had not followed through with my suicide plan, as just when I reached my darkest hour, my miracle arrived.

It did require some 'tweaking' but, within 2 weeks, I was pain free. PAIN FREE!!! Anyone that suffers with chronic pain day in and day out can certainly appreciate just how difficult it is to control it and many poor individuals never reach that point. My pain level is now 0/10 and only when I really overdo it does it come back but even then, it is only 1 to 3 out of 10.

Finally I had my life back. I could again attend social events, visit friends and family, participate in the day to day necessities which previously all fell upon my poor husband's shoulders. Not only that, I was able to return to the job I loved with all my heart as a community nurse. My identity restored, I was ecstatic and felt on top of the world, well for 7 months anyway. After 7 months of working without incident, my employer, Bayshore Home Health, decided that they would dispose of me because I represented a future risk of re-injury, therefore it was about liability and the potential loss of money. The bottom line is always about money isn't it?

After months and months for persevering and struggling to return to normal functioning, I was discarded like a piece of rotted fruit. The details of what has since occurred are somewhat lengthy so I shall leave that for part 2 & 3 of the 'back story'.

As a little preview, it involves a Human Rights case initiated by me and a 'promise' to Bayshore that I will not go away quietly.

Until then, take care and stay safe.

P.S. Come back soon, the story is just getting good.