Sunday, June 19, 2011
AH, THE UNCERTAINTY IS KILLING ME...
I am not a naive fool, I realize that despite what I want to happen, I may not get my job back. I can prepare the case to the best of my ability however many things in life don't turn out the way we want them to. So, do I sit around waiting for the case and then make a move to a new job afterward or do I look for alternate work in the meantime? Frankly, my point was what if I start a new job and then my former employer is forced to take me back? I did not and still do not see it as fair to a new employer. But, I have still continued to send out my resume and attend job interviews as per WSIB.
When my employer discarded me, WSIB sent me through what they call the ‘Labour Market Re-entry’, program. This involved me attending a sort of job workshop operated by the Ontario March of Dimes. They are a group that advocates for the disabled. I truly did not want to go but frankly had no choice as it was a requirement from WSIB. As it turned out, it was not as bad as I thought it would be and the people running the program are very good at what they do. My issue with it all is that I don’t truly consider myself disabled anymore. My pain was my disability and now that it is controlled I am doing well. I realize the underlying issue still remains, however as long as I am careful and ensure I don’t overdo it, my pain is absent. That is all I wanted all along and what I struggled toward since the workplace injury occurred. I have nothing at all except praise for the March of Dimes. They are a kind-hearted bunch of lovely folks that encourage and help anyone with a disability. If nothing else I am a better person for having met them all.
At this point, I have been on several interviews and nothing has yet materialized. The most recent interview was as a nurse for a physician’s office, actually for two of them. I thought the interview went great and for the first time since I started this process, I actually could visualize myself working for these doctors and enjoying it for many years to come. Moreover, even working for them and caring a less if my Human Rights case against my previous employer went my way. Further to this, there is the issue of travel. There are few jobs in the little town in which I live and used to work and all of the interviews have been held in the closest city to me. This means a one hour drive one way. That was a big issue for me, as I did not wish to spend two hours of every day simply driving to and from work. Even so, I was still thinking positively about the doctors’ office position and truly felt as though I would enjoy the job despite the drive time required. But, I have not heard back from them yet. I wish I knew why.
My only concern with having the March of Dimes involved was the fact that they do follow-ups and assist potential employees with the job search. They contact employers regarding the particular issues effecting disabled individuals in the workplace. The fact that I do not consider myself ‘disabled’ anymore means I certainly do not bring it up with potential employers. If I felt it would effect my job performance in any way, I would speak up and explain the details of my injury. In several cases I have asked March of Dimes not to contact any employer on my behalf and I don’t believe they have. Therefore, I am at a loss as to why I have not yet found another job. Nurses are in short supply and I have never had a problem getting a job. Except for recently and frankly I don’t understand it. I have to keep telling myself that whatever is meant to be will be and perhaps it may well work out that I will be given my previous job back and won’t have to worry about all of these potential employers and interviews.
The bottom line is that I absolutely abhor all of this uncertainty. I simply want it all said and done. Whether I win my case or not and whether I will be working for my previous employer or a new one entirely, I just need it to happen soon. In the grand scheme of things this is not a horrible issue considering other challenges I’ve faced in the past. It’s just that for some reason the uncertainty of this situation just weighs very heavily upon me. I’m simply just a peace-loving individual and I want and need the peace that will come with the resolution of this situation.
Take care and stay well,