Creative Visualization & The Spoon Theory

On the days that my ill health gets the best of me, I imagine a place of serenity and do my best to picture myself there. This type of visualization is helpful in controlling the chronic pain I suffer with. Also, one of the best sites on the net for those with chronic illness is: 'But You Don't Look Sick' The site has many great articles and one in particular that I love called "The Spoon Theory." It is useful to explain to others how difficult life with a chronic illness can be. It is written by the site owner Christine Miserandino, and is very well done.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

If you have a chronic illness and/or chronic pain picture your idea of paradise and try creative visualization.

J

Grieving Over My Missing Gland

Just a quick thought for the morning, my imparting of wisdom-

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, DO NOT HAVE YOUR THYROID REMOVED UNTIL YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED EVERY POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVE. It is far too important a gland and when you no longer have it, life becomes a struggle. I have been through hell since mine was removed 4 years ago.

http://thyroid.about.com/

http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/

Till we meet again,

J

Need Fundraising Plan

Posting twice in one day....double wow.

I lost my teeth several months ago due to the radiation exposure after cancer treatment and since then, I've hardly eaten and have not left the house...I really need a plan on how to go about getting permanent implants, when I am so poor. I hate these dentures more than I can express and have never used them. I need ideas outside of winning the lottery, well, ok winning the lottery would be great too.

http://www.clearchoice.com/

I need a plan, anyone?
J

Two Days in a Row.....WOW

I said it would be a few days and yet here I am again. Imagine that. Could not help it as in my last post I spoke of Revenue Canada and my procrastination in contacting them...Guess what happens when you do that? They go ahead and decide where they will get their money and just take it; in this case I will not have a pension again until I am about 95 or so. Ah well, now I don't need to keep the telephone ringer off any longer.

Other than that, it is simply just Thursday with nothing really new except the results of my foolish procrastination. I think I will go visit twitter and read Jann Arden's tweets, she always makes me laugh, a lot! Just love her.

See you soon,
J

The Queen of Procrastination & Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Every few months or so, I commit to making regular entries to this blog among other things and yet here I am again, procrastinating. What the heck is wrong with me? When I decide to put my mind to something, I keep going with my head down until it is complete. That is not the issue here. Finding the motivation to get started on something is my problem.

For instance, I owe Revenue Canada due to working part time and collecting EI after a lengthy illness. However, EI does not take enough tax off and here I sit with the huge debt, and no idea how I will ever pay it. I do need to call them, but I haven 't yet, simply because I have no clue as to what I could offer them. If WSIB (Workplace Safety and Insurance Board) would pay the $15,000.00 they presently owe me, I could. Gee, I wonder if Revenue Canada could exert some influence on WSIB. Nah, forget that one. I don't think anyone could except the Lord himself. WSIB is operated by lucifer in the flesh, intent on destroying lives like mine.

Recently, as in the last several months, I have been having these odd dreams. Not the passionate, gorgeous man dreams that would be fun. I would rather be dreaming about Jonathan Rhys Meyers-(see photo, OH BABY). They are dreams about my health and employment...In my dreams almost every night; I am healthy, strong and back at work. Then I wake up disappointed when I realize that I will never work as a nurse again due to a workplace injury. It reminds me of when I read Christopher Reeve's book about how he would dream that he was able-bodied after his paralysis. Why do people dream things that can not be? When I wake up I feel even more upset that I am basically stuck in this body that responds as a 90 year olds would. Actually, I know some 90 year olds that are doing better than I.

My procrastinating has gotten the best of me lately as I was at the point where I made up my mind that I would attempt writing as my new career. But, I have done nothing to foster any forward motion. The days, weeks and months just keep flying by without accomplishment. How to pull myself out of this rut has become a burning question. I know disabled people have fulfilled lives. I know it is possible, right? So, where to start...I need to make a living at something that is legal. Sure wish someone had the magic bullet, or simply just a bullet.

Well, the queen of procrastination will at least try to continue updating her blog more regularly. See you in a few months, er ah, I mean a few days.

J

P.S. I know, I know, this post was about my issues with procrastination and yet there is a picture of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. You can't blame me for that, he is unbelievably easy on the eyes don't you think? Besides, now I have an excuse to look at him whenever I work on my blog. (I really am happily married, but a girl can swoon, er, ah I mean can look can't she?)

The Cruelty of People Regarding John Travolta's Son Jett

When I first heard of the death of Jett Travolta, the son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston this past week I felt an awful pain in my soul. I don't know them and in fact I have nothing whatsoever in common with them other than also being a parent. I went to his website to offer my condolences. Although they will likely never read it and it will not mean much to them, my heart truly hurt for the pain they are now experiencing.

There is absolutely, truly without a doubt NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING worse that could ever happen to any one of us than to lose a child. It is my greatest fear and I know that if it ever happened to me I would be destroyed beyond repair. This is from where my sympathy arises.
It is just the proof that it matters not how much money you have, whether you are a celebrity or not, dreadfully tragic things can happen to you.

I honestly have never purchased a tabloid in my 42 years on the planet and I NEVER will. I have also never bought in to the idea of putting celebrities up on a pedestal and worshipping them. They are simply people just like us, except they happen to have a job that involves entertaining our sorry asses. In my present ill state, I watch many, many movies and I appreciate the fact that I can be entertained by actors and escape into a different world for a couple of hours.

I for one think they deserve to have a life with privacy and if I had the power, the paparazzi would be outlawed. It is criminal the way they stalk actors. I personally do not understand how they get away with what they do, as they are nothing more than stalkers and most definitely NOT journalists. I would go absolutely crazy if I had them in my face ever step I took and I suspect that for virtually everyone on the planet, if your life was viewed under a microscope each and every day; trust me, you would not enjoy the outcome.

Presently on the internet there are numerous comments on articles, blogs etc. slamming Jett's parents for being scientologists, outright blaming them for his death, so much so that I almost felt sick to my stomach. I am not a scientologist, however, what about: "thou shall not judge" or "Do unto others" mentality? Those poor people have had their hearts ripped wide open and are experiencing the worst pain imaginable, something that I would not wish on my worst enemy. As a person that believes people are inherently good, I am rather astonished at the response of some. How cruel can people be? Well, it even gets worse.

I even saw one blog that said, "So what? This is not news big deal, just because he died. There are millions of kids that die and no one cares about that." Well, to this dreadfully mean individual I do agree with you on one account. Yes, there are many children that die, and each and every one is a tragedy. This is news because they are in the public eye and I would assume that at this point they likely wish that they were not. This will be the most difficult trial they will ever face and they will be forever changed. My heart breaks for anyone that loses a child, whether they are a friend, stranger or celebrity.

Many people are blaming Scientology so much so that Jett's family felt it necessary to release a statement indicating that everything medical and otherwise had been done for him. WHY SHOULD THEY HAVE TO DO THAT? This should be their own private time to grieve for the loss of their son, not to have to worry about what people think. All of you individuals that are taking time out of your day to post cruel comments I suspect that you have no children, or if you do, someone should question you about what type of care you provide your child as I know, any normal parent would feel sympathy for what this poor family is going through. I know I do. For goodness sake, leave these poor people alone in their grief and most importantly, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

So to John, Kelly & Ella-I am no one special and you do not know me but my hope for you is that you are shielded from the dreadful comments, comforted by the heartfelt ones and that you will find a way to cope with such a terrible loss. Truly my heart breaks for you all. I wish peace for you and you will remain in my thoughts.

The New Year 2009

I am not really one to make resolutions, and in fact I have never made one. I do however always take stock of the past year and think about just how quickly it has gone. This past year, although a tough one, did seem to go rather quickly. I know it is because I am getting older. Which then brings up the point of how much time I have left. I am not exactly the picture of health and it really saddens me that I have not really accomplished the things I set out to do.



2008 was tough because I lost my identity(I can no longer work as a nurse) and now have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to do with my remaining years. I have however finally made up my mind to enroll in the writing course which I believe I mentioned in my last post. I have read the information over numerous times and think that I will learn something and perhaps it will keep my mind off my pain and my general ill health.



I do have one sort of monkey wrench that came at me on December 26th that I must deal with. My previous landlord, that purchased the house while we were already living in it has served us for small claims court. The worst part is that he owes us approximately 4times the amount he is attempting to sue us for but we decided against it as we are not petty people. I am most upset over the fact that he is trying to sue us for damage to the house, that was ALREADY there when we moved in. It was caused by the previous owners yet he is trying to get money out of us for it. I have several witnesses that know the condition of the house before he purchased it so therefore I know it is frivilous and will likely go no where, it is just the energy and time involved in dealing with this nonsense is something I do not need.



I do not think as long as I live I will ever understand some human beings with their petty, cruel behaviour. Ah well, just another thing to deal with and an awesome way to start the new year off. I will prepare the paperwork rebuttal part of it and my husband will have to attend court to deal with it himself as I could never tolerate sitting all that time.


School goes back tomorrow, hurrayyyyyyyy. I love my son more than anything in this world but he is getting bored now and needs to return and I need some peace and quiet. I can hopefully get back to my novel and officially get started on the writing course. I received my 1200 thread count sheets for my bed and I have a new laptop so what else could I ask for? Life is great, wonderful and awesome, yet it is truly painful and it all out sucks sometimes too. The good old human condition. I don't mind the ups and downs at all really, I just wish I could control my pain better is all. I suppose that is it for today. See you soon.

J