tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25582231867132551562023-11-16T02:45:18.264-08:00Journey Through Thyroidlessness, Workplace Injury & Chronic PainLiving life without the most important gland in the body and the workplace injury that resulted in disablity & chronic painlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-21968389606920695112011-08-05T17:12:00.000-07:002011-08-05T17:12:08.607-07:00MY NEW CAREER, SORT OF....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQO_99N2oLr_CQTLqOppSMGm7K30uo-PcIWr_Aitx_oyrl8uXBrsiXnsjcDYapAD52XauqZCdKh-UU_jxy-1xUb8eT8zkkvjC-sIcmBHr3AMOHXYPDecnRqQavosYbWRArs_AflWjFm4/s1600/contest1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQO_99N2oLr_CQTLqOppSMGm7K30uo-PcIWr_Aitx_oyrl8uXBrsiXnsjcDYapAD52XauqZCdKh-UU_jxy-1xUb8eT8zkkvjC-sIcmBHr3AMOHXYPDecnRqQavosYbWRArs_AflWjFm4/s1600/contest1.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
Well, after my WSIB job search & nonsense program, I remain unemployed. I sent my resume everywhere under the sun to no avail. I don't know if it is the long drive for these jobs (1 hour or more) that scared employers away or my broken body. Yes, I may have long term issues related to my workplace injury, however I am doing very well now as I have said. On a better note, I have my Human Rights case to be heard on October 7, 2011. Finally, I will get the opportunity to say my piece about how I was discarded like yesterday's garbage.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DQhe8a-nrF6rwe7tWrmUHN98CIW-rwQb5M8vJiTAtSwEeSB7CBSv5rFbO4jIf_mCoYhmNoP1ibTVshUQJjkESJyJPLwynqkGa0jjiUxH_sD1PTgqLNhAyl0_xz4DhaRD9VZPMykUSEM/s1600/contest.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3DQhe8a-nrF6rwe7tWrmUHN98CIW-rwQb5M8vJiTAtSwEeSB7CBSv5rFbO4jIf_mCoYhmNoP1ibTVshUQJjkESJyJPLwynqkGa0jjiUxH_sD1PTgqLNhAyl0_xz4DhaRD9VZPMykUSEM/s1600/contest.jpeg" /></a></div>At this point, WSIB has officially disposed of me and I have no income and no prospects at the moment either. Instead of panicking I decided to make entering contests my new career. Don't laugh, I am serious...Think about it; there is no physical labor involved, no long drive, no risk of re-injury etc. Granted there are no sure things but there never is in life. Frankly, I had NO IDEA how many contests are out there just waiting to be entered. There are also very serious folks that have also made it their vocation. Many of the contest forums list the winnings of members and some truly are making a living entering and winning contests. I mean big winnings in the neighborhood of $25,000.00 up to almost $55,000.00 per year. WOW, right?<br />
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The only downfall so far is that it is so very time-consuming. Not that I don't have time on my hands these days but I am spending 10-12 hours a day. Lets just say, the housework is not being done so well. For the past 5 weeks I have sat on my comfy chair with my laptop entering until I can not see straight. I have won a fair bit already, though nothing earth shattering yet, but still winning all the same. The way I see it, if I can garner at least one large win a year, that will equal my lost income in either cash or a prize that I can sell for cash. I may just have to turn my trusty little blog into a compilation of contest entries and winnings. Wouldn't that be quite the tale...an injured nurse finds her new career in contesting. Well, I better run, lots of contests to enter and hey at least I won't hurt my back doing it.<br />
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Take care and stay well,<br />
J X0lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-57319199788015600862011-07-01T10:16:00.000-07:002011-07-01T10:16:38.005-07:00CHRONIC PAIN IS PERVASIVE AND COSTLY! WHY HAVEN'T WE FIXED IT YET?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLAEcVvux95cWtV660dseuFkUqyZHHt1SrQBQf0cp2u0HHcKaaif9Q6nqkM2j7UkdnQBvlfFnVnvY1fugyxos7BI9Gx4qzQ2RRLgAjLTQ3obmmBoKJ1Xl3xCbYNd_fejZHwBvfbJklzMI/s1600/chronicpainmanagement.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="180" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLAEcVvux95cWtV660dseuFkUqyZHHt1SrQBQf0cp2u0HHcKaaif9Q6nqkM2j7UkdnQBvlfFnVnvY1fugyxos7BI9Gx4qzQ2RRLgAjLTQ3obmmBoKJ1Xl3xCbYNd_fejZHwBvfbJklzMI/s400/chronicpainmanagement.jpeg" /></a></div>I look online every day searching for new information about the treatment of chronic pain. My pain is well controlled for the most part, but I continue to look because I can’t help but feel for those still suffering every minute of every day. Chronic pain interrupts and destroys every part of life, trust me I know that too well. Frankly, if I were to describe hell, it would certainly come under the banner of chronic pain.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_Y5XHCqpWvZBPWH2ooMT5Syduy_3vb3hyU0XwVQR29IiBKGW6MrF4c0XWkXDL_0NB6e0b11QMKx53mwZgcUiGaZfB7YvXI1MD209NvM6G9fJ8JpHQ-BZqsyYAbJhyphenhyphenZmrVA-JGKxyccs/s1600/bentoverpainrelief.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="73" width="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_Y5XHCqpWvZBPWH2ooMT5Syduy_3vb3hyU0XwVQR29IiBKGW6MrF4c0XWkXDL_0NB6e0b11QMKx53mwZgcUiGaZfB7YvXI1MD209NvM6G9fJ8JpHQ-BZqsyYAbJhyphenhyphenZmrVA-JGKxyccs/s400/bentoverpainrelief.jpeg" /></a></div>This past spring, I attended a 6-week program that incorporated different modalities to combat chronic pain. They offered education sessions, strengthening exercises, taught coping methods such as pacing activity and relaxation methods such as meditation. They also had a physician on staff that instructed patients on the proper use of their medication to obtain the maximum effect. Many were already on pain medication however, they continued to suffer significantly as medication alone is seldom the answer. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCs2Lekqf21qRLfRnNJ2ugZPuGR0wb1b-rf_ChFswigdm7OJ5hoBRPB0U_pyWtIaIsZKCrdvrfdcXGg8fM5ne9j18Rq9FuP6-2ozB731pXg22n9ut9ip4pZCbTGr17RdmNqt4eF-_3maY/s1600/controllingpainwheel.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="219" width="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCs2Lekqf21qRLfRnNJ2ugZPuGR0wb1b-rf_ChFswigdm7OJ5hoBRPB0U_pyWtIaIsZKCrdvrfdcXGg8fM5ne9j18Rq9FuP6-2ozB731pXg22n9ut9ip4pZCbTGr17RdmNqt4eF-_3maY/s400/controllingpainwheel.jpeg" /></a></div>Prior to starting the program, I had done much research on my own and had already employed most of the methods they taught. However, I was deeply affected by my time there. Not by what I learned but by the other participants. There were many poor suffering souls also taking the program and while I would watch them shuffle down the hallways, I always became teary-eyed. Part of my emotional reaction was the nurse in me; the other more powerful reason was the fact that I was in their shoes not too long ago. They looked helpless, hopeless and devastated that this was their reality. I won’t say that I didn’t learn anything as there were a few things I picked up along the way. For the most part though, I talked to these other injured folks in depth about their injury and subsequent pain. I even helped a few out with the name of an excellent worker’s compensation lawyer. (Which incidentally is an absolute must after a workplace injury) <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcrXb7QiSBO7fL7KSjQ8WjsEJqxkRy52FxDskz8vuOZRTKkjHEUfGHRrOqaA6JafegViNNp6EN_SUlpo1zX7vl0hNHHtSUamnrGppzfkSQz-hK5rzuEJymL3WAMWknm7L6XhHVkJ-TvlQ/s1600/thereishopeforchronipain.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="189" width="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcrXb7QiSBO7fL7KSjQ8WjsEJqxkRy52FxDskz8vuOZRTKkjHEUfGHRrOqaA6JafegViNNp6EN_SUlpo1zX7vl0hNHHtSUamnrGppzfkSQz-hK5rzuEJymL3WAMWknm7L6XhHVkJ-TvlQ/s400/thereishopeforchronipain.jpeg" /></a></div>I suppose in any environment I can not turn off the nurse that resides within me. I told them exactly what I had been through and how I arrived at such a significant improvement. I watched many of them as their faces lit up with hope! I too had lost my hope at one point even becoming suicidal. Chronic pain can do that to a person. When they saw someone that used to be like them had actually improved, you truly could see the light bulb turn on. As human beings, if we lose hope, we are a short trip from complete, all-consuming desolation and that is a most harrowing place in which to find yourself! I offered physician’s names, medication regimens, and many of the activities they also taught at this program. I suggested they see their physicians’ fully prepared to ask the to doctor try each and every possible treatment available until they were successful. The biggest problem is that when you are suffering, you lack the ability to advocate for yourself because you simply do not have the strength within to do so. Chronic pain taps every resource that you have. I told them that despite their suffering, they must put their remaining bit of strength into advocating for themselves. The sad thing is, if we do not act as advocates for ourselves, no one else will.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0oUP4aBzbYwg-P6DiVth5H0sBC5r3fkkfeHGTuzzpdMRrKjkgpFu93h8BbF_XEJ85VXkMr4k5XltaQQhvUKbvr2S4spC1ZdkO8D2lJ437wTmVMQRjoDv_j_PP_W41NPZk7rYhAi79NUw/s1600/pain+cycle.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="164" width="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0oUP4aBzbYwg-P6DiVth5H0sBC5r3fkkfeHGTuzzpdMRrKjkgpFu93h8BbF_XEJ85VXkMr4k5XltaQQhvUKbvr2S4spC1ZdkO8D2lJ437wTmVMQRjoDv_j_PP_W41NPZk7rYhAi79NUw/s400/pain+cycle.jpeg" /></a></div>So, the point of this post is <b>WHY<i></i></b> when there are so many suffering with chronic pain, we have not yet found a significant way to treat it and improve quality of life? The financial cost alone is staggering and is an excellent reason for researchers to push forward for better treatments. In fact, if you read <a href="http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/pain/articles/2011/06/29/pain-costs-us-635-billion-a-year-report">THIS</a> article, you will see that for the United States alone, chronic pain costs up to $635 billion annually in medical and economic costs. That alone should get everyone’s attention.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBM9x13LC5eol3aE8Ori9aCvlfnz5lX23fzSahUaqVytyZsdPo1n40KYcF5Zv-DgTpuMKAczLqu4TosV602bW9UkZ3tc-8R8iftPXo-ihpidh7761KolKtR0fB2SgeMiE9iyj8_JX5syQ/s1600/wordsofchronicpain.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="191" width="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBM9x13LC5eol3aE8Ori9aCvlfnz5lX23fzSahUaqVytyZsdPo1n40KYcF5Zv-DgTpuMKAczLqu4TosV602bW9UkZ3tc-8R8iftPXo-ihpidh7761KolKtR0fB2SgeMiE9iyj8_JX5syQ/s400/wordsofchronicpain.jpeg" /></a></div>The present treatments are woefully ineffective as you can read <a href="http://www.emaxhealth.com/1275/chronic-pain-treatments-many-options-poor-results">HERE</a>. Another scary statistic is the lack of education for physicians as there are apparently only 5 medical schools out of 133 in America alone that have required courses specific to the treatment of pain. Now, I don’t know about you but I think that is a pretty sad state of affairs and simply unacceptable!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Dv5UHoteVLNzUjrVw3vJHrFoqL4mYrCrPIAJkesiklNXJ7VJXQfNSv7AO0OgAKruiZHxVR9ovSDnADdG-AdsElSsCc9YAoPcy0VfYfYXAXrzxNJXCLJyCPVUN_gahxJfcEhZrftMVBE/s1600/3inairpain.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="178" width="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Dv5UHoteVLNzUjrVw3vJHrFoqL4mYrCrPIAJkesiklNXJ7VJXQfNSv7AO0OgAKruiZHxVR9ovSDnADdG-AdsElSsCc9YAoPcy0VfYfYXAXrzxNJXCLJyCPVUN_gahxJfcEhZrftMVBE/s400/3inairpain.jpeg" /></a></div>On the upside however, I believe that chronic pain and the lack of forward progress in treating it has finally garnered the attention of some researchers. For those suffering, this can not happen soon enough! The American Pain Society is lauding the recent <a href="http://www.newswise.com/articles/american-pain-society-calls-institute-of-medicine-report-a-step-forward-for-u-s-pain-care">Institute of Medicine report</a> as a 'step forward' in the treatment of pain. Hopefully with the increased awareness and research, chronic pain patients’ can finally get out of their beds and perhaps re-join their lives…That is my wish for all those suffering with chronic pain.<br />
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Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-35305730789443821362011-06-30T10:38:00.000-07:002011-06-30T10:38:56.551-07:00T MINUS (-) ONE DAY TO=CUT-OFF BY WSIB....AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvI-7wfu5NmMk1gqGP0Eht6fvq6AWkAtnejykcMUBhx7gCx7A0lovtWwmpdv_mOk5PeLMpagHTOIUfubIv6xqVBpxd9euI6AyGl7GSJtctWAypxCJ2n-Ixr_afNBjcCG64CU_yZui2eEk/s1600/WSIB.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="104" width="139" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvI-7wfu5NmMk1gqGP0Eht6fvq6AWkAtnejykcMUBhx7gCx7A0lovtWwmpdv_mOk5PeLMpagHTOIUfubIv6xqVBpxd9euI6AyGl7GSJtctWAypxCJ2n-Ixr_afNBjcCG64CU_yZui2eEk/s400/WSIB.jpg" /></a></div>*Did you know that if you suffer a workplace injury & are subsequently discarded by your employer because they are worried about money, money, money, you are then completely powerless in that regard? The Workplace Safety & Insurance Board, (WSIB) will then give you 10 weeks <a href="http://www.wsib.on.ca/en/community/WSIB/230/ArticleDetail/24338?vgnextoid=03e044db6aa1a210VgnVCM100000469c710aRCRD">(Aka Labor Market Re-entry Program)</a> to find another job that you are able to do, even though you were doing great at your previous one. They won’t help you fight to get your previous job back, even though that is their supposed role. Once that 10 weeks is up,(July 1st for me) if you still don't have a job, that's it, no other plan, no discussion, you're cut off, period!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxW3RmTi7xsRR9BHWVj1vdL9UK_PMndIUL9muSswPABp8ESIahc9ApW2vzkaQbGZqn4ApFRT8yA3x6OavxNUzinaUVZYCDea3Aq0ytDJrGwWNqm38MzE2WGINeY7FtJApUBmdyYV-FUU/s1600/handslovejob.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="116" width="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxW3RmTi7xsRR9BHWVj1vdL9UK_PMndIUL9muSswPABp8ESIahc9ApW2vzkaQbGZqn4ApFRT8yA3x6OavxNUzinaUVZYCDea3Aq0ytDJrGwWNqm38MzE2WGINeY7FtJApUBmdyYV-FUU/s400/handslovejob.jpeg" /></a></div>After numerous and I mean numerous interviews, I have yet to be hired. Frankly, I do not understand it as I have NEVER, had a problem finding a job in my line of work. I have an exemplary work history, which leaves me wondering why I am not successful in my job search. I am trying very hard not to have a pity party...I did my very best to find a job, yet it has not happened thus far. The deadline for WSIB to cut me off stands at T minus 1 day. Now, just as an FYI, I must offer you the most important piece of advice you will EVER get: DO YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST TO NEVER GET HURT ON THE JOB. If you do, it will be your worst nightmare. How I wish I could turn back time and accede to my husband’s wishes that I not go to the specific home in which I was injured. The ‘nurse’ in me, would not allow me to abandon the patient. Isn’t it ironic how I ended up the patient instead, and moreover being <a href="http://www.disabled-world.com/disability/discrimination/">discriminated</a> against? Perhaps I am not successful in finding a new job because I will be victorious in my Human Rights case and my employer will be ordered to give me my job back. Now, how’s that for thinking positive?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8Uhe9KZyG2-vWJ0DDDbsEYPfGSDM492uQ28HrYEFFnFTQSZPYw1RSuFJ1dDiko6yo1N9KGtikUEV3BE89x3inIr6ge30eLilg_AdZUILyO2KgoLqmzNDS715GCfDQ6p21UTbIRw5FR8/s1600/chronic+pain+survivor.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="204" width="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha8Uhe9KZyG2-vWJ0DDDbsEYPfGSDM492uQ28HrYEFFnFTQSZPYw1RSuFJ1dDiko6yo1N9KGtikUEV3BE89x3inIr6ge30eLilg_AdZUILyO2KgoLqmzNDS715GCfDQ6p21UTbIRw5FR8/s400/chronic+pain+survivor.jpeg" /></a></div>Since my injury in November of 2007, it certainly has been a rough road. The chronic pain was my largest obstacle and having finally garnered control of the pain that almost destroyed me, I believed it would be smooth sailing from that point on. In many ways it has been. I absolutely must turn this situation around and focus on the positive, as we all know that negative thinking causes all sorts of problems. As I was 'surfing the good old web' today, I saw an article stating that positive thinking can actually make people feel worse. I can't say that I agree with that at all but you may read their point of view <a href="http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/07/06/the-powerlessness-of-positive-thinking/">here</a>. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8FYtQOsk8xBqVsFIXsyv73UXHEncGJVsgy72bDRV8gqYJ7O6fYGlHqHCkwDJwYFHwKMh1k9uyI1MUd-gpF_3Y8qpJtptYrvNJtOx8WDBJCPY5y0pnjpTa9TUC_Pug4xiKspV4Mg441U/s1600/thinkpositivecartoon.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="201" width="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8FYtQOsk8xBqVsFIXsyv73UXHEncGJVsgy72bDRV8gqYJ7O6fYGlHqHCkwDJwYFHwKMh1k9uyI1MUd-gpF_3Y8qpJtptYrvNJtOx8WDBJCPY5y0pnjpTa9TUC_Pug4xiKspV4Mg441U/s400/thinkpositivecartoon.jpeg" /></a></div>Back when I was suffering 24/7, I had no fight in me whatsoever. I couldn’t handle conflict of any sort. Now that I am not suffering every minute, I know in my heart I will eventually turn this situation around. In fact, I must if I am ever to return to the job I love and miss dearly. I suppose today’s thoughts are coming from a reflective place. In fact I do this often as <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11040626">reflective thinking </a>is a must for nursing practice. Also, I turn the big *45* today…and I always find that I think back to the past and what has happened in my life up until that point. Isn’t that what birthdays are all about? The way I see it, I am basically past mid-life and if I am going to accomplish what I wish, I must get a move on. Thank goodness I now have the physical ability to do so. Life passes us by so quickly and therefore I feel I must do whatever is necessary to accomplish my goals because ‘time’s a tickin’…<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBtHHjDtRO0bzI0oT0Q049Wo6knf0e7LG1PuhkSFHygwIHpb7ZUGcWXAMFl3PVOqtqUZbQwX3Q3QXm_Lzl8SzNbw8xSJowhBB79ZgRn6oN7hI2xJ_gTn5o4wV_0jZevArQKvXp_rLoJQo/s1600/prayingheart.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="213" width="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBtHHjDtRO0bzI0oT0Q049Wo6knf0e7LG1PuhkSFHygwIHpb7ZUGcWXAMFl3PVOqtqUZbQwX3Q3QXm_Lzl8SzNbw8xSJowhBB79ZgRn6oN7hI2xJ_gTn5o4wV_0jZevArQKvXp_rLoJQo/s320/prayingheart.jpeg" /></a></div>Well, I suppose now would be a great time to go pray my little heart out and check the new job postings…<br />
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Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-67124739488064394072011-06-23T09:11:00.000-07:002011-06-23T09:18:18.862-07:00THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD.....OR.....COULDN'T: Coping in the workplace with disability and chronic pain<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjYKVfH1g_v6U6UlhQuprOruZQmarn7HDywfHgnd9zSyguOd6uVd-v-Ry2e6_-bE6iR35ER-M7YmNCTV5mlSdAym9ZxQBKm0gmplqjgDcCFeMyi_rBz6zwDvCsoPEAkVTxyQvaoTxxiw/s1600/Ithink+I+can.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="255" width="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjYKVfH1g_v6U6UlhQuprOruZQmarn7HDywfHgnd9zSyguOd6uVd-v-Ry2e6_-bE6iR35ER-M7YmNCTV5mlSdAym9ZxQBKm0gmplqjgDcCFeMyi_rBz6zwDvCsoPEAkVTxyQvaoTxxiw/s400/Ithink+I+can.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
Returning and/or remaining in the workforce can be challenging for anyone. There are numerous stresses such as deadlines, conflicts and personal issues that can effect an individual’s success in the workplace. When one is disabled and suffering with chronic pain, the difficulties and challenges become magnified many times over. The World Health Organization defines <a href="http://prc.canadianpaincoalition.ca/en/chronic_pain_and_disability.html">disability</a> as: “Disability is any restriction or lack of ability to perform an activity in the manner or within the range considered normal for a human being.” As a person experiencing returning to the workforce with a disability, I can assure you that it is a daunting task. A down right scary one at that. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqaAyynSvRFkdOxSYYFN2GIkj4VnU7wdQDAZBlDkINR7CY5lJK4H1ycskoEk-RA8ddibhtIOxMtXRjN6mYRm-5x8qGVySKccj4nYWbdx1_Z4ePOsbFwERq7TK5vjQxyd5b3xq8Cxu3qJ0/s1600/winning+the+batle+against+pain.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="156" width="324" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqaAyynSvRFkdOxSYYFN2GIkj4VnU7wdQDAZBlDkINR7CY5lJK4H1ycskoEk-RA8ddibhtIOxMtXRjN6mYRm-5x8qGVySKccj4nYWbdx1_Z4ePOsbFwERq7TK5vjQxyd5b3xq8Cxu3qJ0/s400/winning+the+batle+against+pain.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
I have previously stated that my pain is well controlled now and for that I could not be any more thrilled. I have also stated that I do very well as long as I don’t over-do it too much. Well, yesterday I did. I attended a combination job interview/job trial that kept me from home for too many hours. The drive time alone took one hour and 10 minutes <b>ONE</b> way. Then I had a brief interview/orientation and proceeded to carry out the tasks of the job for 8 hours. <br />
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As a nurse for 21 years, this job is something I have never done before. It is basically a quality control position. This pharmacy company provides pre-packed medications and blister packs for nursing homes, chronic care hospitals and retirement homes. In other words, it is a medication-packing factory. It is an extremely fast-paced environment as they provide this service not only for local places but also for nursing homes as far away as a 5 hour drive. Needless to say it is very busy. My job was to ensure that the pre-packaged medication that was sealed by the machine had the correct medication in it. Frankly, you would be surprised to see how many errors do in fact occur and therefore this quality control position is essential.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5zu9K0JGZPjJ6FyJPwBn-W4A6AMv4BMB0zsCdDSVq1zUZdrewZIYfZb0Ccz44B2KnHo9gxwJQmhXp1l7fcSUurrzMmq7hPhrYeZ7WVfG4PalwKm0mqxYWg1G93RdG3Tu_8JQylBuWHDI/s1600/overdoing+it.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="136" width="97" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5zu9K0JGZPjJ6FyJPwBn-W4A6AMv4BMB0zsCdDSVq1zUZdrewZIYfZb0Ccz44B2KnHo9gxwJQmhXp1l7fcSUurrzMmq7hPhrYeZ7WVfG4PalwKm0mqxYWg1G93RdG3Tu_8JQylBuWHDI/s400/overdoing+it.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
When I returned home last evening I felt one step away from dead. I fell asleep quite early and awoke feeling horrid pain that I have not experienced for a while. Still feeling exhausted this morning, it quickly became apparent that I had ‘over-done it’ and my body was screaming this at me in no uncertain terms. The manager of the pharmacy stated that he would contact me by the end of the week and let me know if I have the job. I need to work, as WSIB will no longer pay me beyond the end of the month, which is 7 days from now. So, what to do…<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBKkmNFuxQ8u8TWxRRBDG31E6v5JTBZ3nH_EeNrQaTjMFv8dq3s70ZFaEvlpMgHDxEdLAo_B_BeSxRmZKtjzHZI2n92semxL0ObiepbOIFfFttSWaujyPqdAFsyZmbd-tktLegT8TDSc/s1600/re+work.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="110" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJBKkmNFuxQ8u8TWxRRBDG31E6v5JTBZ3nH_EeNrQaTjMFv8dq3s70ZFaEvlpMgHDxEdLAo_B_BeSxRmZKtjzHZI2n92semxL0ObiepbOIFfFttSWaujyPqdAFsyZmbd-tktLegT8TDSc/s400/re+work.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
I didn’t mind the job at all, my only concern is whether or not I can actually be successful long-term in this position. Will I in time become better able to manage the job or will I fall on my face and fail miserably? I want to be the ‘Little Engine That Could,’ truly I do. There is much documentation regarding this topic and you may read a few of them <a href="http://www.qp.gov.bc.ca/rcwc/research/brooker-disability.pdf">here</a>, <a href="http://www.healthtalkonline.org/disability/Chronic_Pain/Topic/1627/">here</a> and <a href="http://www.healthtalkonline.org/chronichealthissues/Chronic_Pain/Topic/1628/">here</a>. I know many disabled and/or chronic pain sufferers have been successful in their careers and I would love to hear from anyone that has ever been in this type of situation in which I now find myself.<br />
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Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-3748814284605750862011-06-20T10:10:00.000-07:002011-06-20T10:10:53.305-07:00THYROID THYROID THYROID....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCfaJi32FafnDqEfCV7v5LJG7FtG7Hx2QyfueswEKIwUaClG_Mcl_iJ0RCjRKdPjaK8vVYm86JIA0lgmXS7_SxhtjF6MrPxEZYK-eMEHS0pPiCcyNRN0u6jj93P88fRmVrwVslvjl7EtM/s1600/cancer+survivors+network.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="19" width="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCfaJi32FafnDqEfCV7v5LJG7FtG7Hx2QyfueswEKIwUaClG_Mcl_iJ0RCjRKdPjaK8vVYm86JIA0lgmXS7_SxhtjF6MrPxEZYK-eMEHS0pPiCcyNRN0u6jj93P88fRmVrwVslvjl7EtM/s400/cancer+survivors+network.jpeg" /></a></div>It has just occurred to me that it has been a long while since I posted anything about my thyroid or lack there of. In part, the reason for this was that I had bigger fish to fry lately. Does this mean that my thyroid issues are no longer causing problems? Well, yes and no. My thyroid was removed October of 2004. Thinking back on that time, I was absolutely terrified. Case in point, I recently found a message I posted to the Cancer Survivors Network via the American Cancer Society, which you may read <a href="http://csn.cancer.org/node/144787">here</a>. I received some very good comments that helped put my mind at ease.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTxikTzGQQDMPWF7e2xMWgdiYCnYSiFOHTJ-s4UySc6EDioJon_vvHn1VA5UtZwsbtgdAbHDisnY7rk-vnau9pNWn6Fu1wAh5JibVPR6tyFqUqjChE3OsucG750j0NX_DYJGIWYEyN1A/s1600/thyroidcanwreakhavoc.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="225" width="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYTxikTzGQQDMPWF7e2xMWgdiYCnYSiFOHTJ-s4UySc6EDioJon_vvHn1VA5UtZwsbtgdAbHDisnY7rk-vnau9pNWn6Fu1wAh5JibVPR6tyFqUqjChE3OsucG750j0NX_DYJGIWYEyN1A/s400/thyroidcanwreakhavoc.jpeg" /></a></div>At that time, I had no idea how much of a difficult road it would be post-thyroidectomy. Unfortunately, I had little choice in the matter because my thyroid had been destroyed by radiation treatment for lymphoma many years prior. I didn’t lose my voice after the surgery and I was beyond ecstatic that the surgery went well and there were no complications until a bit later when they came in droves. Rather than reiterate all of the details, you may wish to read the article I posted <a href="http://jeannettelaframboise.ulitzer.com/node/1039675">here</a> on Ulitzer. I suffered with all and several more of the listed symptoms except of course for the myxedema coma. If I had developed this issue I would likely not be on the planet any longer. The point is that I despite being a nurse for many years I had absolutely NO idea just how important this little gland is for every cell in the body. Also explained in the article is desiccated thyroid that turned out to be the answer to my ever-growing list of symptoms. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrU6kRMltTI8BWqnj2hQj9SlG5MOLaykNK8n90sskwrgVvMCJU-GLYbq8gqbLVLBmGLVurAxIBAVsxTqrp0KYrDEcVL7jtyauu3a1nrBOMVBYUWK7cJquXICLCdNLYo5oi1JAfOiysVg/s1600/dearthyroid.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="104" width="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrU6kRMltTI8BWqnj2hQj9SlG5MOLaykNK8n90sskwrgVvMCJU-GLYbq8gqbLVLBmGLVurAxIBAVsxTqrp0KYrDEcVL7jtyauu3a1nrBOMVBYUWK7cJquXICLCdNLYo5oi1JAfOiysVg/s400/dearthyroid.jpeg" /></a></div>Almost 2 years ago to the day, I was invited to post a “Thyroidectomized Letter of Sadness” on the wonderful site “dearthyroid.org” which you will find <a href="http://dearthyroid.org/thyroidectomized-letter-of-sadness/">here</a>. It was a silly sort of letter but funny enough, that is how I felt and still feel. Regardless of medication, I miss my thyroid more than I could ever express. There are some great posts on the dearthyroid.org site that you really should read if you are having any type of thyroid problem. Laughter is and always will be the best medicine, well that and the proper thyroid medication of course…<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8u8z2hTx_XZbr9lkssHsEivCnd3dblfqn3hvtbfFWYiQXSHgRA4Yvq2XQHlnKm8pLg6WWaBBdR0EzQOt5pA6UHpEw6_sDOQcRjbIvu9CJV-UY8KJ-tIwYwwRmeJNXzcVfngRM41YBBb0/s1600/Mary+Shomon.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="248" width="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8u8z2hTx_XZbr9lkssHsEivCnd3dblfqn3hvtbfFWYiQXSHgRA4Yvq2XQHlnKm8pLg6WWaBBdR0EzQOt5pA6UHpEw6_sDOQcRjbIvu9CJV-UY8KJ-tIwYwwRmeJNXzcVfngRM41YBBb0/s400/Mary+Shomon.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyarmVOFFk7QoDBsakQhIN_349gzuh7AjID7aPIG0Bldsfn1413Q_Hq0M6GnuA46X7A6dGZxpzo5MtqmLwLSqEzZ2-AeJJ3zOy8tmbAMIxYLC79a23hAZhWmtZtb6iJ7Hdjn5AfxN9m0/s1600/mary+menopause+thyroid+banner.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="68" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyarmVOFFk7QoDBsakQhIN_349gzuh7AjID7aPIG0Bldsfn1413Q_Hq0M6GnuA46X7A6dGZxpzo5MtqmLwLSqEzZ2-AeJJ3zOy8tmbAMIxYLC79a23hAZhWmtZtb6iJ7Hdjn5AfxN9m0/s400/mary+menopause+thyroid+banner.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
Most importantly, I spent hours upon hours looking for thyroid information. I think I earned a PhD in thyroid from Mary Shomon. She is an exceptional patient advocate who also suffers with thyroid disease and has worked tirelessly to educate people. She has done amazing things for the thyroid community and her site is a great place to start. You will find pages and pages of excellent information at <a href="http://thyroid.about.com/">http://thyroid.about.com</a>. <br />
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I suppose that I have come a long way since that early post of 2004 on the Survivors Network. However, I recently had a brief chat with Ms Shomon about the effects that menopause can have on the individual with thyroid problems. As it turns out, it plays a big role, which certainly explains why I have recently been experiencing symptoms I have not had for several years. (Yes, I am unfortunately that old now.) Mary has also written a book (among many others) on this specific topic, which I plan to purchase this week. To get me started however, I have been searching through her site about the impact of menopause on the thyroid. If you are at that “lovely age” approaching menopause, start here for more information from Mary. <a href="http://www.menopausethyroid.com">http://www.menopausethyroid.com</a>. <br />
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So, this is basically my update regarding thyroid, because after all, my blog did start out as “Journey through Thyroidlessness.” I sincerely hope that some of this information and links will help my fellow thyroid disease sufferers.<br />
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Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-80976212940575408422011-06-19T14:50:00.000-07:002011-06-19T15:25:23.087-07:00AH, THE UNCERTAINTY IS KILLING ME...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf9bOkokb40UZdQvjw15gTe3RbSyp_Y_DgHdctB8cdhTT40IvobAfcVfZuKc8Qy9NRLMWSSMG7E4vDFqtuVVIQH6_umKZxOvwrU7LrMMRWk0SY4kGeKeAARu0zLByUt1L45M2KOMk4_VE/s1600/changeaheadsign.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="160" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf9bOkokb40UZdQvjw15gTe3RbSyp_Y_DgHdctB8cdhTT40IvobAfcVfZuKc8Qy9NRLMWSSMG7E4vDFqtuVVIQH6_umKZxOvwrU7LrMMRWk0SY4kGeKeAARu0zLByUt1L45M2KOMk4_VE/s400/changeaheadsign.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
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I am not a naive fool, I realize that despite what I want to happen, I may not get my job back. I can prepare the case to the best of my ability however many things in life don't turn out the way we want them to. So, do I sit around waiting for the case and then make a move to a new job afterward or do I look for alternate work in the meantime? Frankly, my point was what if I start a new job and then my former employer is forced to take me back? I did not and still do not see it as fair to a new employer. But, I have still continued to send out my resume and attend job interviews as per WSIB. <br />
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When my employer discarded me, WSIB sent me through what they call the ‘Labour Market Re-entry’, program. This involved me attending a sort of job workshop operated by the Ontario March of Dimes. They are a group that advocates for the disabled. I truly did not want to go but frankly had no choice as it was a requirement from WSIB. As it turned out, it was not as bad as I thought it would be and the people running the program are very good at what they do. My issue with it all is that I don’t truly consider myself disabled anymore. My pain was my disability and now that it is controlled I am doing well. I realize the underlying issue still remains, however as long as I am careful and ensure I don’t overdo it, my pain is absent. That is all I wanted all along and what I struggled toward since the workplace injury occurred. I have nothing at all except praise for the March of Dimes. They are a kind-hearted bunch of lovely folks that encourage and help anyone with a disability. If nothing else I am a better person for having met them all.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJE7n4o5mpVkWHSl0Max8uxVIRM5945CZHZsD6AMhPYV4KjxRCgQnVyUOHwIWkFyE-D8N-FMh-Y1QnsbHmk-AiJu9LHTdWansxiXE1SQROs7MUKhF90Q3ksWbr3p5cbASnljZmbRVRQk/s1600/uncertainty.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="190" width="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJE7n4o5mpVkWHSl0Max8uxVIRM5945CZHZsD6AMhPYV4KjxRCgQnVyUOHwIWkFyE-D8N-FMh-Y1QnsbHmk-AiJu9LHTdWansxiXE1SQROs7MUKhF90Q3ksWbr3p5cbASnljZmbRVRQk/s400/uncertainty.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
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At this point, I have been on several interviews and nothing has yet materialized. The most recent interview was as a nurse for a physician’s office, actually for two of them. I thought the interview went great and for the first time since I started this process, I actually could visualize myself working for these doctors and enjoying it for many years to come. Moreover, even working for them and caring a less if my Human Rights case against my previous employer went my way. Further to this, there is the issue of travel. There are few jobs in the little town in which I live and used to work and all of the interviews have been held in the closest city to me. This means a one hour drive one way. That was a big issue for me, as I did not wish to spend two hours of every day simply driving to and from work. Even so, I was still thinking positively about the doctors’ office position and truly felt as though I would enjoy the job despite the drive time required. But, I have not heard back from them yet. I wish I knew why. <br />
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My only concern with having the March of Dimes involved was the fact that they do follow-ups and assist potential employees with the job search. They contact employers regarding the particular issues effecting disabled individuals in the workplace. The fact that I do not consider myself ‘disabled’ anymore means I certainly do not bring it up with potential employers. If I felt it would effect my job performance in any way, I would speak up and explain the details of my injury. In several cases I have asked March of Dimes not to contact any employer on my behalf and I don’t believe they have. Therefore, I am at a loss as to why I have not yet found another job. Nurses are in short supply and I have never had a problem getting a job. Except for recently and frankly I don’t understand it. I have to keep telling myself that whatever is meant to be will be and perhaps it may well work out that I will be given my previous job back and won’t have to worry about all of these potential employers and interviews.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zta70-Cf5Nta6FORn0tmPlVeGlAtB-mIi7RKfifAXLdtv_JG2RwMD9AWXjZygnoO7-amDj4Nig6yanqFfC5hR7jQ8guVPhjQvRY6d7XX8QmCOF74_ZxDUtxmqGOs2JA2E_n-CqnztGA/s1600/interview+in+progress.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="189" width="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zta70-Cf5Nta6FORn0tmPlVeGlAtB-mIi7RKfifAXLdtv_JG2RwMD9AWXjZygnoO7-amDj4Nig6yanqFfC5hR7jQ8guVPhjQvRY6d7XX8QmCOF74_ZxDUtxmqGOs2JA2E_n-CqnztGA/s400/interview+in+progress.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
The bottom line is that I absolutely abhor all of this uncertainty. I simply want it all said and done. Whether I win my case or not and whether I will be working for my previous employer or a new one entirely, I just need it to happen soon. In the grand scheme of things this is not a horrible issue considering other challenges I’ve faced in the past. It’s just that for some reason the uncertainty of this situation just weighs very heavily upon me. I’m simply just a peace-loving individual and I want and need the peace that will come with the resolution of this situation. <br />
<br />
Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-74107676435152026042011-06-14T08:08:00.000-07:002011-06-14T13:47:55.524-07:00THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Part 3 of the Lengthy "Back Story"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggunNqFyw2qiBhTN2laT8uWEzxEVw_hYPkeq4MiYvPKCgkEGX8HSa0kz58bgmomPmbqa80C9ocpjSOglD_HnHzawohFmZ42Lpy5gLh4HAjINNJae6tTmdfnrW78_dpeup8_f3qc_WKghQ/s1600/human_rights_first-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="246" width="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggunNqFyw2qiBhTN2laT8uWEzxEVw_hYPkeq4MiYvPKCgkEGX8HSa0kz58bgmomPmbqa80C9ocpjSOglD_HnHzawohFmZ42Lpy5gLh4HAjINNJae6tTmdfnrW78_dpeup8_f3qc_WKghQ/s400/human_rights_first-.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
And...so it continues...<br />
<br />
November 1, 2010, after a normal workday I received a call from my manager. She stated: “I spoke to head office and they said you are not to come in. You are on ‘hold.’ After asking her what on earth that meant, she replied: “They just said to call you and tell you that you are on hold.” I then asked her to please find out exactly what that meant and to call me back when she knew. Well, I didn’t hear from her for several days so I contacted her again. She still had no rhyme or reason for their ‘on hold’ scenario. Every couple of days, I would call again and either ask her directly or leave her a voicemail. NO RESPONSE…My response did however arrive 2 weeks later in the form of a Record of Employment. They had decided that I represented too much of a risk to their bottom line. <br />
<br />
They were chock full of the ‘what ifs’ and the financial risk to the company that they could care less about what they were doing to me. The day that the dismissal letter arrived, you seriously could have knocked me over with a feather. I WAS SHOCKED! I had no idea that this is what “on hold” actually meant. Now, I could understand them doing this if I had not been doing well over the past 7 months. Yet, I did absolutely great and never missed a day due to my injury or pain. <br />
<br />
Prior to my successful return for the 7 months, I had tried to return to work repeatedly and failed each and every time because my pain was still too severe. Frankly, I could understand them discarding me after one of my numerous failed attempts, but to have me return and do well for 7 months and then cast me aside? I simply do not understand it at all. Anyone that I explain it to shakes his or her head as well. Further to this, it meant that I was again forced to deal with WSIB (workers comp) and that in itself is a big ole barrel of cherries, sour cherries at that!<br />
<br />
So, this is why I started the Human Rights case. I do not think they should be allowed to literally BLINDSIDE an employee the way they did me. I am absolutely not the type of person that would ever launch a frivolous lawsuit and frankly I could care less about getting money out of them. I simply want them to give me my job back. Is that too much to ask? Well, apparently it is because they have hired some Human Rights lawyer that charges almost $3000.00/hr. For my side, well it’s just iddy bitty me. I’m no fancy lawyer and in fact I know very little about law, but I do know when my rights have been violated. I have already told them that I have no interest in this case and that I don’t even want money. I just want the job I love back! Most people think I am crazy for wanting to work for this company again. But for me, it isn’t about the employer. It is the job. I love community nursing and always will. It would be awesome if there was another agency in the area that offered home care but right now, Bayshore is the only one. I don’t do it for the employer, I do what I do for the patients. The company is largely irrelevant as I have always loved community nursing. <br />
<br />
The most pathetic part of this is the latest documents that I have received regarding their reply are full of lies. Believe it or not, outright blatant lies! I have always been honest, sometimes honest to a fault and would never lie about something as serious as this. Apparently the Human Rights Tribunal can force them to take me back and it is my fervent hope that they will do exactly that. What they have done is wrong! If I win my case, it will also be publicized and perhaps then they will realize that they can not dispose of injured employees like yesterday’s garbage. Unfortunately, this in not the first time they have done this to an injured worker and quite frankly it is a downright disgrace. <br />
<br />
At this point, I have just replied to the lies in their documents and apparently they are to respond again to me and then the case will commence. As much as I don’t want to go through this, it needs to be done, not just for me but for all the present and/or future employees of this company. Wrong is wrong right?<br />
<br />
Take care and stay well,<br />
J<br />
<br />
P.S. Presently, because I have no idea how long it will take for my case to come up, I have been forced by WSIB to look for work. Interviews abound…fun, real fun…lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-50889545337362924052011-06-14T07:58:00.000-07:002011-06-14T07:58:55.966-07:00THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Part 2 of the Lengthy "Back Story"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qYAEHPm_1DSLMWy7EnNsZ2OrV1ubgV1FN-laa5RRjFHAkakI0yA0MqCX_zzLRpHHVjmfwSoPJwVdsRp8zOV56olcr1arv1q190t1pGi0p6s8Q4vsRbjY8LGidEKD4YWdLTsKLTzinkc/s1600/nurse4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="192" width="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qYAEHPm_1DSLMWy7EnNsZ2OrV1ubgV1FN-laa5RRjFHAkakI0yA0MqCX_zzLRpHHVjmfwSoPJwVdsRp8zOV56olcr1arv1q190t1pGi0p6s8Q4vsRbjY8LGidEKD4YWdLTsKLTzinkc/s400/nurse4.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
April of 2010 was an awesome month for me. I finally achieved what I had wanted since my workplace injury on November 2007. (For anyone that does not wish to read older posts, I was injured trying to catheterize a 500-pound woman). After a couple of months of working on getting my pain medication to an optimal level, I was ready, willing and able to return to work. Frankly, I had long ago resigned myself to the fact that I would never be able to function well at all, never mind returning to work. But, I did. I was literally more excited than a small child on Christmas Eve…<br />
<br />
My employer, Bayshore Home Health, decided that I would be ‘buddied’ up with another nurse to ensure that I was able to carry out the tasks of the job. It had been 3 years and so I thought that was quite a reasonable plan. I knew I was atrophied and would need to build up my strength. It would afford me the opportunity to slowly work my way up to becoming independent again. Good plan right? I was told that this was only a temporary measure, that once I was able to build up my stamina I would be given my own caseload to take care of as I had done for years. <br />
<br />
After a couple of months travelling along with my fellow nurse, I was doing great and had not encountered anything in the community nursing environment that I was unable to do. Both my colleague and I reported to our manager that I was doing well and was more than ready to be out in the community on my own. Every week or so, we reported the same thing and always received the same reply from the manager: “Just a little while longer until your doctor and head office says you can be on your own.” So, I shut my mouth, continued to work Monday through Friday without a problem. None whatsoever!<br />
<br />
In hopes of removing my need for a ‘babysitter’ my physician filled out a report stating that I could see patients on my own. However, because of my injury, she stated that I should only see patients requiring lighter type care. For example task such as: changing dressings, taking blood pressures, giving injections. Unfortunately, my employer was apparently thinking that my physician was going to clear me for any and all possible patient care. Anyone with a lick of sense would realize that after an injury that incapacitated me for 3 years, a doctor would never give full clearance. After all that had happened, she would have been a fool to say, “Yes, you have free reign, go do whatever they ask you to.” They expected me to be able to jump back in and provide nursing care to anyone even 500 pound patients. Just a tad bit unreasonable?<br />
<br />
The very sad part about it all is that my employer was warned that this particular patient situation was an accident waiting to happen. I had my manager come into the home to assess it for herself and after promising to get more assistance, she ended up just telling me to “Be careful.” All of the other nurses had already refused to nurse this patient due to the risk, yet I, feeling guilty that she would be left without care could not say no…A nurse with a heart, working for a company that could care less about their employees. Am I a fool or what? <br />
<br />
Please stay tuned as part 3 is to be posted today as well.<br />
<br />
Take care and stay well,<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-27300660807283859922011-05-29T14:18:00.000-07:002011-05-29T14:18:09.208-07:00JUST A SIDE NOTE...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5u64z_ypUjxO6stpzjiX28yexV_pyCGP_gUkEzL5mmbn8orP5Ka23lEnxiJMzmXHvmcO1bUQ5ZZ336nUk9R9gFClFnWvuXNXhOmmowZQJ1S9G5cv1eoxZG6pnw7FHATz9e-3RUybO_4/s1600/sidenote" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="179" width="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5u64z_ypUjxO6stpzjiX28yexV_pyCGP_gUkEzL5mmbn8orP5Ka23lEnxiJMzmXHvmcO1bUQ5ZZ336nUk9R9gFClFnWvuXNXhOmmowZQJ1S9G5cv1eoxZG6pnw7FHATz9e-3RUybO_4/s400/sidenote" /></a></div><br />
I was just reading a few old posts and could not help but see the <b>HUGE</b> contrast in where I was both physically and mentally at that time compared to now. If you read my most recent entry: "The Good the Bad and the Ugly", part 1 and compare it to the entry dated September 16/09 entitled "Know When to Fold Em," you will see what a miracle truly looks like. Clearly I was in a bad place at that time. <br />
<br />
I will begin on part 2 this week of "The Good the Bad and the Ugly" and this contrast is worth mentioning only so that it will be clear that after struggling for so long to improve and return to work, I was finally successful...The very fact that I have come so far only to be discarded by my employer is even more heartbreaking. In part 2 I will go into more detail of what has occurred regarding the Human Rights case but even before that I welcome prayers that the case will go in my favor.<br />
<br />
See you soon for Part 2.<br />
<br />
Take care and stay well.<br />
Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-41261930530854506252011-05-27T11:26:00.000-07:002011-06-14T07:31:20.367-07:00THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Part 1 of the Lengthy "Back Story"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEAQGDoeu_9wjmMZI99s4rFfyzHHYO8b-M7WnUWsxfxB1lqk69oB006CCQORCHL4VjOQGhoqFyJh_v07AiXT-qGqfnnVtHrN-_HmtGOkS8Gd3wmj_7Y396jvWW-4kt5RFM4_QcIVVkc4/s1600/pain+scale.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="311" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEAQGDoeu_9wjmMZI99s4rFfyzHHYO8b-M7WnUWsxfxB1lqk69oB006CCQORCHL4VjOQGhoqFyJh_v07AiXT-qGqfnnVtHrN-_HmtGOkS8Gd3wmj_7Y396jvWW-4kt5RFM4_QcIVVkc4/s400/pain+scale.gif" /></a></div><br />
Once again I must apologize for my absence. This time however, I have a reason...I have been jumping through the many WSIB (Workplace Safety and Insurance Board) hoops. To begin, anyone that knows me is well aware of the nightmare I have dealt with regarding chronic pain. In the past, if anyone were to tell me that I would actually be successful in controlling my pain and again have my 'life' back I would have believed them insane. Though, that is exactly what happened.<br />
<br />
Based upon the recommendations from a pain specialist, my lovely physician decided to try me on the Fentanyl patch.* (A very dangerous narcotic, but exceptionally effective when used correctly and safely.) It turned out to be an absolute miracle for me. Normally my pain level on a scale of 1-10 was at least 7 at rest and rose well above 10 with any physical activity. I had become a completely non-functioning chronic pain poster child. I had always been an upbeat happy individual and never dreamed that I would become depressed and suicidal. But, I did. Chronic pain can do that to even the most jovial person. It was a combination of the pain and my inability to function. I truly felt like a useless piece of garbage. As a nurse for many years I was always in the caregiver role, not the care receiving and had my identity all wrapped up in being a nurse. What was I now? Thank the Lord that I had not followed through with my suicide plan, as just when I reached my darkest hour, my miracle arrived.<br />
<br />
It did require some 'tweaking' but, within 2 weeks, I was pain free. PAIN FREE!!! Anyone that suffers with chronic pain day in and day out can certainly appreciate just how difficult it is to control it and many poor individuals never reach that point. My pain level is now 0/10 and only when I <b>really</b> overdo it does it come back but even then, it is only 1 to 3 out of 10.<br />
<br />
Finally I had my life back. I could again attend social events, visit friends and family, participate in the day to day necessities which previously all fell upon my poor husband's shoulders. Not only that, I was able to return to the job I loved with all my heart as a community nurse. My identity restored, I was ecstatic and felt on top of the world, well for 7 months anyway. After 7 months of working without incident, my employer, <i>Bayshore Home Health</i>, decided that they would dispose of me because I represented a future risk of re-injury, therefore it was about liability and the potential loss of money. The bottom line is always about money isn't it? <br />
<br />
After months and months for persevering and struggling to return to normal functioning, I was discarded like a piece of rotted fruit. The details of what has since occurred are somewhat lengthy so I shall leave that for part 2 & 3 of the 'back story'. <br />
<br />
As a little preview, it involves a Human Rights case initiated by me and a 'promise' to Bayshore that <b>I will not go away quietly</b>. <br />
<br />
Until then, take care and stay safe.<br />
J <br />
<br />
P.S. Come back soon, the story is just getting good.lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-44423001111815033392011-04-21T13:21:00.000-07:002011-04-23T18:10:30.956-07:00I AM REALLY STILL ALIVE<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9nRPG5YBiGUBPCxNZ02EA27hwbAZsL_ObLo0MQiXoc9kxYNQn5jXqWM65NVvjJ84oFJCP5jNWX58U7P3pSbSumvubyYXMckh-x6odl80dzTJKEX2yvHtjUwyA79fuSX2_AhVYNwQf5Y/s1600/imagesCAD63OQ0.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 285px; height: 177px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9nRPG5YBiGUBPCxNZ02EA27hwbAZsL_ObLo0MQiXoc9kxYNQn5jXqWM65NVvjJ84oFJCP5jNWX58U7P3pSbSumvubyYXMckh-x6odl80dzTJKEX2yvHtjUwyA79fuSX2_AhVYNwQf5Y/s400/imagesCAD63OQ0.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5598136568091205538" /></a><br /><br />I have finally made my way back online. The primary reason was computer issues and the financial inability to purchase another. At last I have a new one, an HP laptop this time...boo to Acer!<br /><br />So much has happened both health related and not. I believe it will take 4-5 entries to get up to date and plan to start writing this weekend. I apologize for being such a bad, absentee blogger and hope my readers will forgive me and return again. Please :0)<br /><br />Be back real soon, really I will!<br /><br />Take care,<br />Jeannette<br /><br />lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-60040943454961595512010-01-14T07:26:00.000-08:002010-01-14T07:46:05.933-08:00A LITTLE FRUSTRATED...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOMSyNoaFntqjA77QTbGyj7MyMnH9zSXL08S7bri0OdfE_plJyNCwXJoKaqJCuBfNnYjoOeUjus4ED7pFRX0Rdu5RgxOGz2qPk3X1vbXoc7JcnG9H6PQC22potTAZ_JPutx0C99Wzk74/s1600-h/acerx.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 118px; height: 118px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOMSyNoaFntqjA77QTbGyj7MyMnH9zSXL08S7bri0OdfE_plJyNCwXJoKaqJCuBfNnYjoOeUjus4ED7pFRX0Rdu5RgxOGz2qPk3X1vbXoc7JcnG9H6PQC22potTAZ_JPutx0C99Wzk74/s400/acerx.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426622273575155650" /></a><br />I thought I owed my faithful readers another update and certainly an apology regarding being MIA...Unfortunately, things with the laptop did not go well. As you know, I sent it into the Acer Repair Depo via Purolator. I suppose that was mistake number one-however hindsight and all that...<br /><br />Anyhow, my laptop apparently arrived at Acer with a BROKEN SCREEN. It was sent in for a problem with overheating. Now Acer in their grand wisdom, documented the broken screen and promptly returned it to me via Fed-Ex. (Of course nothing was done about the overheating-which is somewhat irrelevant now anyhow.)<br /><br />I contacted Purolator and informed them that my laptop screen had obviously been damaged while in transit. They immediately informed me that because Acer sent it back, the insurance I purchased was then VOID. I was told that it should have remained at the Acer Depo and they then send a person out to view the damage before they allow a claim. Now, one would assume that Acer should know such information and be aware that they have virtually voided the Purolator insurance and left me empty-handed. I can not begin to explain how upset I am at both Acer and Purolator. <br /><br />I waited patiently for my laptop to be repaired and here I am with not only an overheating issue but now a broken screen to top it off. Neither Acer nor Purolator is accepting responsibility for this which leaves me presently without a laptop. Those that have followed my blog, know that due to my workplace injury, money is quite an issue. I have no clue when or if I will be able to pay to replace the screen or wait until the day comes that I can purchase a new one. <br /><br />To be perfectly honest, I am not sure I wish to own an Acer after what they have done. I have infrequently been using the PC I have here-however that poses a couple of issues. First-it is very slow and frustrates the life out of me-and second-the entire reason for having a laptop was so that I could lie in bed and manage my pain without sitting at a desk with the PC.<br /><br />What can I say...<strong>Caveat emptor</strong>...this buyer will certainly beware from this point forward. Thanks Acer-you've been awesome!lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-89582248657079327392009-10-14T17:08:00.000-07:002009-10-14T17:14:28.664-07:00I WILL BE OFFLINE FOR A SHORT WHILE...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBYN6NnyK0K5zBrHuMzC7B9D-ksg5jU91sYb86qIwsFUVr-ij3BK3ePOWyZVtZ2dIDW1xjAcfLaIEQH89wyyZvEvWQqqBveiqY1AXsE6ES3kGyloDXZdHzKLXu7CeAaMQmp9BI2k2NsEc/s1600-h/sunsetsortof.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBYN6NnyK0K5zBrHuMzC7B9D-ksg5jU91sYb86qIwsFUVr-ij3BK3ePOWyZVtZ2dIDW1xjAcfLaIEQH89wyyZvEvWQqqBveiqY1AXsE6ES3kGyloDXZdHzKLXu7CeAaMQmp9BI2k2NsEc/s320/sunsetsortof.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392613364734143682" /></a><br />Just a quick note to update my readers. I was recently hospitalized yet again for severe dehydration. I waited too long to go to the ER and felt like death was upon me when I arrived. Still a bit weak however slowly recovering.<br /><br />I have been putting off essential repairs to my laptop however it absolutely MUST be taken care of now before my warranty is void. So, depending upon how long these repairs take I will be offline for a short while. I have committed to getting back to at least one blog post per week minimum once I have my computer returned. <br /><br />Until then, take care and stay well,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-85932986914171486062009-09-27T17:25:00.000-07:002009-09-27T17:37:43.875-07:00FUNDRAISING FOR ME BY WONDERFUL PEOPLE...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbIfar6IMubt255C5au594GgXljgaTotJgBHNWRzoS5bsR1fUCR33Ys8OBwVvh1IN5Q2vMBtkLLyYQc8QhYN_pJ0qnZ5XgeNlQYv4e9p8MzMyIUopWmg8nQhTRToYUUR76t5suYG3Ycs/s1600-h/powerbar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 126px; height: 115px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbIfar6IMubt255C5au594GgXljgaTotJgBHNWRzoS5bsR1fUCR33Ys8OBwVvh1IN5Q2vMBtkLLyYQc8QhYN_pJ0qnZ5XgeNlQYv4e9p8MzMyIUopWmg8nQhTRToYUUR76t5suYG3Ycs/s400/powerbar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386309647692382546" /></a><br />**Everyone** PLEASE have a look at this site doing a wonderful thing for me:0) They sell Healthy Chocolate! They are doing fundraising for me! I could not believe it and how helpful and generous they have been! I have read and watched videos about it myself and it is pretty amazing stuff. Please take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with the benefits of this product. If you wish to try it or learn more about it please contact Guy by email or telephone as per http://bit.ly/3uKRj6<br /><br />It will help with certain types of treatment not covered by OHIP such as acupuncture and traveling etc. to such treatments. The other benefit is a possible 'new job' for me. Those of you that know me, know that I have been unsuccessful at returning to my nursing job, a job I dearly loved. Another benefit of this fundraising is that if it does well, I will be able to become an 'independent' and sell it myself. There are some start up costs involved, minimal mind you but when you are disabled, unable to work and have little income it seems a lot. I would love the opportunity to sell this great product myself and I think it may go a long way in helping me mend from the loss of a beloved job.<br /><br />This is certainly not a sales pitch nor any pressure to purchase. Please do not feel obligated in anyway...only to treat it as any other fundraiser that you feel would be worthwhile. I would truly appreciate any assistance you could offer at this attempt in fundraising.<br /><br />Thank you very much for taking the time to read.<br /><br />**I will be back soon with the promised nerve block article-as a matter of fact I am traveling yet again to the specialist for another one. Be back soon.<br /><br />Take care and stay well,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-15681302579193987382009-09-16T09:30:00.000-07:002009-09-16T10:01:40.169-07:00KNOW WHEN TO FOLD EM...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK_8PaI1jr1tnqBiNDECUq7aaoFxLix4uYfkkX7Aq-zRrLe4MIrf20GtDfpyQ5Tl2bCcTL02-i9Ebe1YRCVPznsKrySAooKz5yUMh_JcHPIlS-Faj28dQwaTwKRk25Hcp0I5Upok_7ONA/s1600-h/DEPRESSION_by_optiknerve_gr.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 355px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK_8PaI1jr1tnqBiNDECUq7aaoFxLix4uYfkkX7Aq-zRrLe4MIrf20GtDfpyQ5Tl2bCcTL02-i9Ebe1YRCVPznsKrySAooKz5yUMh_JcHPIlS-Faj28dQwaTwKRk25Hcp0I5Upok_7ONA/s400/DEPRESSION_by_optiknerve_gr.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382105191307140450" /></a><br /><br />I know I stated that my next blog post would be about nerve blocks and in fact the one following this will be rather than vice versa. There are a couple of reasons why I have changed the order a little. 1) For me, my blog at times is a method to purge things that are bothering me, similar to why a person may write a journal. 2) I have had many people asking me how I am coping with my return to work and this post will certainly answer that question.<br /><br />Several weeks ago, I received a visit from a very pleasant lady at WSIB and her job is to assist the injured worker in returning to work. She is to formulate a plan and remove the real or potential obstacles to a successful return to work. I liked her, truly I did, still do in fact. She seemed to be a very caring individual and I was pleased to finally be treated well by someone at WSIB. I will admit, I was rather unnerved and pretty much scared to death at returning after an almost 2 year absence. However, never afraid of a challenge, I agreed to return and try my best.I always give everything I attempt my very best. Bottom line, I have tried with everything I had in me. But, I am failing...miserably. <br /><br />As soon as I return from work each day, I immediately go to bed. I remain there until around dinner time and stay up until it is time for my son to go to bed. At which point, I too return to bed. The increase in pain subsequent to the increased activity has again lead to a lack of restful sleep. Then of course the fatigue sets in and ensures that my pain feels worse than ever. It is a horribly vicious circle that I have found myself entangled in many times since the injury occurred. <br /><br />As the months have flown by, I found myself feeling more and more useless. I did want to return, simply to perhaps feel like a functioning human being again. The saddest part is that, despite stating so, my employer does not really have any “light duty” work. They are a nursing agency and all of the work takes place in the community. This unfortunately, left me sitting in a chair, reading the same literature repeatedly day after day. Without a source of distraction, my pain was absolutely horrible. I need to be distracted on some level, otherwise I feel every pain elevated to an intolerable level and I watch the clock. <br /><br />It was then decided that I would go out to the community with the other nurses. I was thrilled at that prospect if for no other reason than to get out of the office. My reaction to these “outings” shocked me more than I could ever explain. Due to my injury and limited ability, basically I was just watching and doing paper work. I actually did a couple of blood pressures and respiratory assessments, however beyond that, I felt like the fifth wheel. As I mentioned many times before, I loved my job. From the bottom of my heart and soul that is the God’s honest truth. Nursing never felt like work to me and my entire identity was and is wrapped around being a nurse. <br /><br />I thought I had resigned myself to the fact that I would no longer be able to carry out the nursing activities that in the past were simply second nature to me. I sobbed each time I arrived home after being out in the community. I choked it back while out but let loose at home. It was the type of sobbing that seems to come up from the feet. A deep painful cry of an injured animal is how I sounded. There it was, in my face, black and white: I can no longer do these basic nursing tasks. I will never be able to return to regular nursing duties and the job I so loved. Clearly, I had not accepted this reality. I don’t want to accept it. Yet, outside of a miracle occurring, it is that very reality that slapped me in the face.<br /><br />I want my old life back. I am tired of suffering with pain 24/7. I want to be like healthy people that get up each morning and go to work and lead productive lives. It breaks my heart that I found the career that made me feel as though I was not “working.” (Find a job that you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.) I had that and I recognized just how fortunate I was to have found it. All that I ever wanted was to make a difference in the lives of others with my time here on earth. I was. I did. I made a difference to my patients. I cared and they knew it. I truly could not imagine a more fulfilling and important career on the planet. I had it all in front of me and now, I simply can not do it. God help me, I just can’t.<br /><br />Now, you can be sure that WSIB will not take the same view as I. They think that pain or no pain I must return. Pain is subjective and therefore non-measurable and this means that my pain is not a factor in any decision-making. Unfortunately, subjective or not-it is my reality. So much so that when I push myself as I have been doing recently, I vomit. Violently. My body is screaming-“I hurt and STOP what you are doing.” But instead of heeding, I kept pushing. I have done my best to put my head down and trudge through the pain and do what I have been instructed to do but now I am waving the white flag. I know this will mean going back to struggling to feed my son due to no money, however, I haven't a choice now. I am not much of a gambler, I prefer sure things, however, I’ve given it my all regardless of what any adjudicator or board believes and now I must stop pushing myself. It is time to “fold em and walk away.” <strong>Walk away...Walk and not run, simply because I can no longer run. :0(</strong><br /><br /> <em> Kenny Rogers: The Gambler<br /> You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,<br /> Know when to walk away and know when to run.<br /> You never count your money when you’re sittin at the table.<br /> There’ll be time enough for countin when the dealins done.</em><br /><br />Take care and stay well,<br />J X0lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-40592969820492812622009-08-30T18:20:00.001-07:002009-08-30T18:22:55.345-07:00COMING SOON....NERVE BLOCKSFirstly, I must apologize for being an absentee blogger...so much has happened lately and with my poor health, I have simply been exhausted.<br /><br />Please come back soon for my article on nerve blocks. I recently received one that I plan to discuss in detail. This will be of real interest to anyone with chronic pain. <br /><br />Take care & stay well,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-50811379539018780242009-08-02T16:27:00.000-07:002009-08-02T16:43:14.832-07:00JUST A QUICK UPDATE...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtltGObhrs1cUMW4rX6EvkyEWrKJQ8pdIO1ahabZW0mCf3YZZPf0fgygZqViv5819JBLHlQ4TWDfXY9SQ2tWdyUCbN4TVgjhapsIdwUYzpNiuTg4JQDqlMQZtUl1tiWZr_dTf1YcyeazA/s1600-h/broken_laptop_hinge.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 355px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtltGObhrs1cUMW4rX6EvkyEWrKJQ8pdIO1ahabZW0mCf3YZZPf0fgygZqViv5819JBLHlQ4TWDfXY9SQ2tWdyUCbN4TVgjhapsIdwUYzpNiuTg4JQDqlMQZtUl1tiWZr_dTf1YcyeazA/s400/broken_laptop_hinge.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5365515870760563762" /></a><br /><br />I know I am very overdue for a new blog post among other things...I spent a frustrating week or so off-line, unable to determine why my wireless connection did not work on my laptop. Due to my pain level, I can not sit in the computer chair to work on the PC, so I generally lie or sit in bed with the laptop. That is until it would not work. As it turns out, there is a function key that will turn off or on the laptop's ability to connect to a wireless signal.<br /><br />I had read that perhaps there was a switch on it. There was not. I tried every key on the keyboard, hoping I did not further mess it up. I did. Even my owner's manual did not tell me how to remedy the issue. Useless book! I never said I was a tech-type person...however, my eldest son, Brian called to talk and when I told him of my issues, he suggested a certain key along with the shift button and voila, I was back.<br />I did not realize what an internet addiction I had until I could not participate in my usual online activities. So glad to be back!<br /><br />On another note, those of you that know me from Facebook, will have noticed I am no longer there either. A few weeks ago, my Facebook account was hacked and some nasty criminal posing as me, began asking my friends for money. Luckily no one fell for it but in my panic rather than change passwords etc. I deleted my account and have since been unable to access Facebook. I may try again in the future but for now, I have been frustrated enough with good old Facebook. It is not bad enough that my account was allowed to be compromised but then, it is all but impossible to find someone to talk to about it at Facebook or any help at all with gaining access to my old or a new account. <br /><br />So, I will return very shortly with a "real" blog post-until then, I wanted everyone to know what had happened.<br /><br />Take care & stay well,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-36436789054082794792009-07-16T08:11:00.000-07:002009-07-16T12:20:19.101-07:00I THINK, THEREFORE I AM...*NOT* IN PAIN...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8puGarV7JgTo5F_bhGSkZ1twJpMJlmIWa6LsybcjOm0UenKo1ERud9vdbv5gEtjibOcUlMVxK5zVUWOz4C4-ts4S3HQptRYnjaYh7IFqNt0GgkBlp-aq5MylCfhXv8T7P-t-aFjVL6WM/s1600-h/think_positive.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8puGarV7JgTo5F_bhGSkZ1twJpMJlmIWa6LsybcjOm0UenKo1ERud9vdbv5gEtjibOcUlMVxK5zVUWOz4C4-ts4S3HQptRYnjaYh7IFqNt0GgkBlp-aq5MylCfhXv8T7P-t-aFjVL6WM/s400/think_positive.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359126958073809874" /></a><br /><br />Most people are aware of the potential power of the mind & in particular the role of the 'power of positive thinking' to make changes in a specific area of one's life. This belief has been around for years, even before the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" came to be, up until present day. The popularity of the "The Secret" and the role the Law of Attraction can play in life is not a new concept either. But do you believe in this theory and more specifically, can positive thinking help play a role in pain management? <br /><br />Personally, I believe the human mind holds immense power of such an intensity that we as mere mortals, lack the ability to fully comprehend. In my 20 years of nursing, I have seen many people basically give-up, lie down & die because a doctor had given them a poor prognosis and they believed it lock, stock & barrel. That is one of the reasons I think it is a huge mistake to give a patient an answer to the question: "How much time do I have?" There is no answer to that question, simply because no one knows exactly when we will die...Does this mean that all serious illness will not lead to death? Of course not. I am not saying that all disease can be cured with the power of the mind, although it certainly plays an important role. Simply put, positive thinking plays a large role & no one should ever give someone a time limit on how long they will live.<br /><br />There have been many documented cases of people dying exactly to the day after a doctor had stated how long they had to live. Therefore, if we can be told how much time we have left and internalize it so much that it becomes reality-so then we should be able to affect change in a positive manner as well.<br /><br />I know that on the days when my pain is particularly overwhelming, I feel worse in every way possible...physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and so on. Feeling worse also leads to vocalizing just how tired I am of suffering. This just perpetuates the negative thought cycle and the pain seems to remain at a heightened level for an extended period of time. However, if I am in a somewhat positive mood, or even a neutral mood & distracted, working on an article for example, I am also aware that the pain does not 'seem' as severe. <br /><br />The very fact that there is a lot of research being done regarding the deleterious effects of stress on our health, should clearly indicate that our thoughts & emotions play a large role in our health. We need to have a positive mind-set in general to accomplish the goals we set for ourselves. This is the exact reason why 'life coaches' are so popular now. It is easy to set goals, it is another story to actually stay positively on task as we attempt to accomplish them. We, as human beings seem to struggle with the concept of positive thinking and actually remaining positive when what we strive for does not immediately arrive. Most of us, have real trouble delaying gratification. <br /><br />I have personally tried "positive thinking" to control my pain, many times in fact. The problem being however, I backslide rather quickly when I do not see immediate results. One of the ways to combat this and remain in the positive thinking mind-set is to participate in a treatment known as: <a href="http://www.hhsc.ca/body.cfm?id=1441">Cognitive Behaviour Therapy </a>(CBT). This therapy aims to stop the negative self-talk related to past experiences & instead replace it with a more positive, "living in the moment" type attitude. When it comes to coping with chronic pain, living in the moment is essential. The moment you begin obsessing about a future filled with pain you feel immediately defeated.<br /><br />We may not be able to take away our suffering & the chronic pain we deal with each and every day, however, positive thinking clearly plays a very large role in how we cope with it. Above & beyond dealing with chronic pain via analgesics, it is definitely worthwhile to search out each & every alternative treatment available including psychological help. Treatments such as CBT may be exactly what you need to say: "I THINK, THEREFORE I AM *NOT* IN PAIN. <br /><br />Wishing you a positive thinking, pain-free day,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-45088866617717296082009-07-06T07:42:00.000-07:002009-07-06T08:01:36.431-07:00YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS WHEN...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCuQtXtSCjdI6_HpQIyb4eFASjw8OCWGYpgH1sX-NWjWIak4iifydLyRodv15qynNRNvSDliFQ3x8H0USXeBgI61eTP3sPUaMP7iaCF1psO9dMCo0s0QmywZdzF-rV55A0nsVaxePwmv4/s1600-h/physical%2520benefits%2520of%2520laughter.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 296px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCuQtXtSCjdI6_HpQIyb4eFASjw8OCWGYpgH1sX-NWjWIak4iifydLyRodv15qynNRNvSDliFQ3x8H0USXeBgI61eTP3sPUaMP7iaCF1psO9dMCo0s0QmywZdzF-rV55A0nsVaxePwmv4/s400/physical%2520benefits%2520of%2520laughter.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355361834356365826" /></a><br /><br />I didn't expect to be posting again so soon, however I found something that I think may amuse those of you with chronic illness/chronic pain etc. <br /><br />I did not have my sad green eyes open even three minutes this morning when that nasty silver jagged ball began spinning through my field of vision. For those of you that don't know much about migraines, what I experienced is called an aura. I have not had a migraine in a year, actually almost a year to the day. I used to get them frequently but after an entire year passed, I had thought they were gone for good...you know what thought did??? Silly naive fool...<br /><br />Now then, back to the reason for this post: I decided to surf the net, looking for things to distract myself from the vise so tightly squeezing my brain and came upon invisibleillneesweek.com. The article entitled <a href="http://invisibleillnessweek.com/?p=235">YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS WHEN....</a> actually had me laughing out loud despite the pain in my head. I thought perhaps my fellow sufferers could also enjoy a good laugh.<br /><br /><br />Take care everyone-hope it makes you giggle,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-82115752863912833762009-07-04T08:14:00.000-07:002009-07-05T07:49:11.133-07:00WHAT ABOUT US...THOSE WITH LEGITIMATE CHRONIC PAIN???<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI4D47Pep8Qr1Tj_OXo2xt4YAOOR3yiKLva1SNbuYNZJ_XEpq6QP-NP_xejjWaUxixpekD1gkySR3nFAzM3xpm5fTno38d1ixqoEnnnlgYlneRXdgPRA-hH4i74PQcaR5I77GRKZLGE1o/s1600-h/umbrellaanddrugs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI4D47Pep8Qr1Tj_OXo2xt4YAOOR3yiKLva1SNbuYNZJ_XEpq6QP-NP_xejjWaUxixpekD1gkySR3nFAzM3xpm5fTno38d1ixqoEnnnlgYlneRXdgPRA-hH4i74PQcaR5I77GRKZLGE1o/s400/umbrellaanddrugs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354986276647909138" /></a><br /><br /><br />Unless you have been living under a rock, no doubt you have heard about the death of Michael Jackson and the issue of his death being related to narcotic abuse. To top it off, there has also been a recommendation via the FDA committee to decrease the amount of acetaminophen allowed per day and further to also take combination drugs such as Vicodin and Percocet off the market.<br /><br />Michael Jackson is certainly not the 1st celebrity to die as a result of narcotic abuse and he will likely not be the last. As sad and tragic as his death is, all of the controversy has only fostered a terrible fear in those that suffer with legitimate chronic pain, myself included. <br /><br />Previous to my workplace injury, I did not have so much as a bottle of Tylenol or even aspirin in my home. As a teenager, I did not take drugs of any sort and did not allow myself to be influenced by peer pressure. That attitude carried on through to adulthood. Now, however, as a sufferer of chronic pain 24/7, without my medication, I can not function at all. In fact, without it, I can not get out of bed or even out of the fetal position as a result of the horrid pain. It has also lead to depression that I struggle with and has brought me to the point of feeling suicidal. Really scary stuff...<br /><br />I have never been the type of person to even remotely contemplate ending my life, however, the pain is so very consuming that it drains the life right out of me. Anyone that suffers with chronic pain will understand exactly what I am saying. I do not wish to take these analgesics, and in fact wish I didn't need to, however the reality is, if I do not I have no quality of life whatsoever. Now, I as well as many others, risk losing access to the medications that allow us to somewhat function, and that my dear readers scares me to death, literally!<br /><br />I have to assume that there is the potential for determining a method to ensure better safety with regard to taking narcotics. There has always been and will likely continue to be those whose only goal is to get "high" off of these drugs. Those with real pain however, their only goal is to obtain relief from the unrelenting pain that they live with daily. I have never felt the so called 'high' that others chase after. I have often said I wished I did, at least then I'd be enjoying myself amid all the suffering...Bottom line though-I simply just want relief from the pain.<br /><br />I think with all of the issues surrounding these meds, it is about time that more research was done. Why not work toward finding an effective method of pain control that does not have all of the side-effects, including addiction. If there was a medication that decreased my pain and did not have the potential for addiction or any other side-effect, I would be first in line to try it. <br /><br />There should also be stricter safe-guards put in place to make sure that those taking these drugs are taking them exactly as prescribed. I have never been asked to give blood or urine to assess the level of narcotics in my body. I would however, have no objection to being asked to do this. It certainly would be a great way to "weed out" those whose only goal is to get "high." It would be easy to tell if they were hiding something based upon their reaction to being asked to supply a blood or urine sample.<br /><br />Clearly, I don't have all the answers and I don't know what the resolution is to this growing problem. I do believe though that if some effort was put into it, positive changes could be implemented without the risk of those suffering with chronic pain losing access to the meds that allow them quality of life. Anyone with chronic pain knows that it effects each and every facet of their lives and the meds that allow them some relief are ESSENTIAL. Without access to them, I have no doubt that the suicide rate would increase exponentially...<br /><br />Be back soon. Until then take care and I wish for you-*good pain control* :>)<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-35074925867350435472009-06-28T07:43:00.000-07:002009-06-28T08:26:47.991-07:00NOT MY ARTICLE-HOWEVER-REALLY LIKED THIS ONE-PLEASE CLICK LINK TO READ<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0y_jk0D2vCJo4DiiU1mF9VpZ7IaVxhPZ_ZVOE07aaU-hA8ahzvPlLLqTtXMcmjg8hl5hHY1xZXrmxM54f434coeSksnSgTDHt7JNlrBauSBjtG_qPiKOlALyM7e3Zik8vcVLsvhcNhqw/s1600-h/warning.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 350px; height: 350px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0y_jk0D2vCJo4DiiU1mF9VpZ7IaVxhPZ_ZVOE07aaU-hA8ahzvPlLLqTtXMcmjg8hl5hHY1xZXrmxM54f434coeSksnSgTDHt7JNlrBauSBjtG_qPiKOlALyM7e3Zik8vcVLsvhcNhqw/s400/warning.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352400254172616338" /></a><br /><br /><br />Thus far, I have written everything myself on my blog. However, I came upon this article entitled: <a href="http://www.healingwell.com/library/health/article.asp?author=parish&id=1">"Five Simple Words to Keep Chronic Illness at Bay"</a> written by <strong>Madeleine Parish</strong>, and liked it so much that I would love the readers of my blog to see it. I also loved the graphic above, those with chronic illness will recognize some if not all of the insensitive things people say to those with a chronic illness. <br /><br />Be back soon,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-3543963676009863522009-06-20T15:59:00.000-07:002009-06-30T11:04:54.042-07:00DEAR THYROID...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQrrKwVctruELVijC1iRh9n2n03UM3XoZFyTMwM1Irwv8iCCBVVQEG5hN_u2F5AIjFNUNDgwNM_UJKn7zE3M0t9d-nyQNm4APY5Y6Rgo2dD766NF4OnwTTDuc2SxhsdDBqvwwjwZb86wc/s1600-h/thyroidgland.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 124px; height: 87px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQrrKwVctruELVijC1iRh9n2n03UM3XoZFyTMwM1Irwv8iCCBVVQEG5hN_u2F5AIjFNUNDgwNM_UJKn7zE3M0t9d-nyQNm4APY5Y6Rgo2dD766NF4OnwTTDuc2SxhsdDBqvwwjwZb86wc/s400/thyroidgland.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350876327072549682" /></a><br /><br /><br />I have been invited to submit a letter to my thyroid via this <a href="http://dearthyroid.wordpress.com/">funny and interesting site.</a><br /><br />My "Dear Thyroid" letter can now be found <a href="http://dearthyroid.wordpress.com/2009/06/30/thyroidectomized-letter-of-sadness/">here</a>.<br /><br /><br />(Ok, my dear readers, so I know that was silly...but I do really miss my thyroid<br />Can you tell?)<br />Be back soon,<br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-21024643160063891742009-06-15T06:09:00.000-07:002009-06-15T07:56:20.502-07:00"IN SICKNESS & IN HEALTH"...OR JUST IN SICKNESS?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz04yr8syaJxE3iSTH6cGLCnkxUc_aXeaGA651eO3SflcjXc868e0q8v8nhHt41uQPmfrwzal088P2PPYvPeNJmsLtVHbqXy0JPcFYRil68u1qDhyphenhyphenxE6wZePRZZQ0uZ8rBv6ggGDcf97c/s1600-h/marriage2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz04yr8syaJxE3iSTH6cGLCnkxUc_aXeaGA651eO3SflcjXc868e0q8v8nhHt41uQPmfrwzal088P2PPYvPeNJmsLtVHbqXy0JPcFYRil68u1qDhyphenhyphenxE6wZePRZZQ0uZ8rBv6ggGDcf97c/s400/marriage2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347566691027542962" /></a><br />I read a statistic recently that stated the divorce rate is 75% where a chronic illness is present in either the husband or wife. This statistic originates from the National Health Interview Survey and is found all over the internet and beyond. Frankly, those results scare the hell out of me! Clearly, when "in sickness and in health" turns into just sickness, the stress on the marriage is enormous.<br /><br />Of course, when we marry, we are bleary eyed and naive and never think about things like that. We will always be blissfully in love and nothing will ever change that...then in roars chronic illness. At that point, the chronic nature of the illness rewrites the script of your relationship. Roles change and plans for the future fall by the wayside. Every aspect of your marriage is effected: work and finances, chores, social life and sex are all different. Nothing looks the way it started out and the stress upon the marriage becomes overwhelming.<br /><br />I met my husband while on vacation in Jamaica, several months after the suicide of my 1st husband. The last thing I was looking for was a relationship. But...I fell hard and fast, I was so madly in love and knew immediately that I had just met the man of my dreams, the person that I would spend many happy years with. There were several wonderful years, and then everything changed. Don't get me wrong, my husband still loves me dearly, as I do him, however, the stress on our marriage can no longer be hidden. We never fought, not ever, and people would jokingly state that our marriage made them "sick" as we were always lovingly gazing at each other and never would a cruel word leave our lips.<br /><br />My husband states that he understands, and always bends over backward to try and help me with absolutely everything. The problem is however, his entire focus is me and doing all that he can for me, all the time. This approach has simply just worn him ragged, he is beyond exhausted in every way and I feel guilty...very guilty. I tell him very often that he should leave and find someone else to spend his life with, someone healthy. My intent is not a cruel one, simply that I love him and want him to live a normal life, one without all this extra stress and heartache. He gets very angry when I say that. I simply just feel that he did not "sign on for this" and being stuck with a sick wife is just not fair. <br /><br />My husband has been coping fairly well, up until recently that is. Now, his stress level has peaked to the point where we are at risk for ending up as part of that 75% divorce rate statistic. He has tried to do it all, taking up the slack for me and he simply can not do it anymore. There needs to be better coping strategies put in place so that he can continue to cope and I can find a way to not feel so guilty for the extra stress put upon him. I have searched long and hard for methods to cope and have found a couple of things so far. This <a href="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/facing_crisis/chronic_illness/in_sickness_and_in_health.aspx">article</a> and this <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_2087339_cope-chronic-illness-marriage.html">one.</a><br /><br /><br />Above and beyond that--I think perhaps couples counselling may be helpful too. I have a hard time accepting and coping myself, but for my husband, he needs just as much, if not more support than I do. Here's to all the loving caregivers out there that do their very best to be supportive spouses to their ill partners!<br /><br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-56605326852983082812009-06-04T08:15:00.000-07:002009-06-04T16:31:29.481-07:00I HAVE HOPE AGAIN!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYWBbOn_CAjbdsRHhVt5CUQWX3DYa5pS4tlo-vNfe3tpuPfFo8deBNW22-7fnD0UmGtSGccRdv0N67WnNdGc0P1JmyOuuGcA2XnMZffe9Hj1Pq6rZMp04vBQgp5fs9dk3eaxjqWJWu5Lg/s1600-h/hope.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYWBbOn_CAjbdsRHhVt5CUQWX3DYa5pS4tlo-vNfe3tpuPfFo8deBNW22-7fnD0UmGtSGccRdv0N67WnNdGc0P1JmyOuuGcA2XnMZffe9Hj1Pq6rZMp04vBQgp5fs9dk3eaxjqWJWu5Lg/s400/hope.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343506101820970018" /></a><br /><br />Clearly from a couple of my recent posts, it is apparent that I had reached a very bad place. A very dark place where all hope was gone and surely to never return. Losing hope is a very dangerous place to be...however yesterday, I came to realize that there is still reason to hope.<br /><br />I saw a new doctor, who is an MD/Chiropractor. Before even speaking with him, I noticed a large poster in his waiting room that jumped right out at me. It was divided into 3 parts. The 1st: a picture of someone holding an enormous handful of pills, the 2nd: a picture of a surgeon holding a scalpel, and 3rd: a picture of a doctor providing a treatment that states: "I won't prescribe meds to mask symptoms,I won't do surgery that can worsen your condition, MY GOAL IS TO FIND THE PROBLEM AND FIX IT." Imagine that, someone that wants to try and FIX the problem, what a novel idea... <br /> <br />He did a scan of my entire back, muscles, nerves, spinal cord/vertebrae etc. This initally had the potential to devastate me even further, as the results were bad! Really bad, even worse than he or I had initially thought. I did at least derive a better understanding of why my pain is so horrid and uncontrolled, and as he explained it all to me, I was fighting back the tears yet again...<br /><br />I have been so emotionally fragile lately, bordering on suicidal that I was profoundly scared to hear anymore bad news. However, I struggled to get one sentence out. "Can you help me and fix it?" He said YES!!! Now, I am not so gullible to not recognize that he could possibly just be telling me what exactly what I wanted to hear, however what he explained next is what gave me my hope back.<br /><br />He explained of course that he would do his very best which is always a nice thing to hear. He stated that he has seen several people with scans almost exactly like mine. All of them had a significant decrease in their pain after his treatment. While I may be somewhat unrealistic in wanting to be 100% pain-free, he assured me that he would be able to make a very noticeable decrease in my suffering. The pain has been so horrific that any decrease in pain would be wonderful, and so I have kicked my negativity and giving-up mindset to the curb and am positively focused on whatever amount of recovery I can obtain. <br /><br />Where the hope snuck back in was in the fact that I have only gotten worse over the past year or so, with no improvement whatsoever and nothing but bad news over and over again. Now, no matter the percentage of improvement, I know that it will result in a decrease of some amount of my suffering. I'd love 100% recovery, even 50%however, 5%, 10% or whatever it may end up being, it is at least a measure of improvement rather than continuing to go downhill. <br /><br />It does unfortunately mean a one hour drive there and another hour back, but I would go to the ends of the earth for any amount of relief. I will continue to post updates about my treatment and recovery that may offer hope to someone else going through the same thing and in the meantime it sure is great to say: <em>HELLO AGAIN HOPE, I'M SO GLAD YOU'VE COME BACK... </em><br />J :>)lost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2558223186713255156.post-6922271107157784892009-05-30T09:05:00.000-07:002009-06-04T16:36:32.902-07:00SUPPORT FOR THOSE INJURED IN THE WORKPLACE<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio063MI3dhu3J2TeGfW1lkxPeFpufGFNdkvTpLo5saIKpF26Jo5LTP_cKBKPNf9zf0XwUAZYxmT43cJl2wH9RIxG4ngoTW1s2uw9mEmO-Wa4_lL-iz9DUeuIHgPaDuBXaFeAjVQfxpiyU/s1600-h/dontbothercomingbacktowork.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 338px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio063MI3dhu3J2TeGfW1lkxPeFpufGFNdkvTpLo5saIKpF26Jo5LTP_cKBKPNf9zf0XwUAZYxmT43cJl2wH9RIxG4ngoTW1s2uw9mEmO-Wa4_lL-iz9DUeuIHgPaDuBXaFeAjVQfxpiyU/s400/dontbothercomingbacktowork.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341655223351244466" /></a><br />Recently, I posted a message to the <a href="http://iwocac.ning.com/">Injured Workers All Across Canada </a>site and unfortunately, it was not a very nice one. In my last blog post, I spoke of acceptance and I do believe I pushed myself a bit too quickly in attempting to accept what has happened. I do still realize that acceptance is paramount if I am to move on, however, now I think it needs to be accomplished in baby steps. <br /><br />I had a meltdown, a major meltdown. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up, I had my plan, all in place, and 2 minutes before I completed it, I called my husband home from work instead. Chronic pain has the ability to make a person go mad, literally. If you combine that with the abuse of WSIB you have yourself a recipe for disaster. I still can not believe how in Canada, a compassionate country, our government allows this to go on. I actually read a statistic recently that stated people with chronic pain are 50% more likely to commit suicide. Now, being on the receiving end of a suicide, I know the resultant pain it causes, yet, I was in a very dark place. It is the compounding effect of pain, WSIB abuse, financial stress, marital issues related to the stress of it all and just plain old exhaustion.<br /><br />I am not there now, however,I am profoundly aware that I remain at risk. I am taking the steps I need to take in order to cope with it all and meanwhile, I am so grateful for the people with chronic pain and/or workplace injuries that have provided such caring support. I do now commit to putting my energy into fighting these WSIB SOBs and not allowing them to take me to that very dark place again!<br /><br />Jlost butterflyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15512822541463479068noreply@blogger.com4